Like every other premiere, episode 1 of The Real L Word serves as a set up for the rest of the season as we are introduced to the cast and sub-characters (who I happened to find more interesting than the main cast), and supplied with the background stories on everyone involved.. blah, blah, blah.

As a 20-something-year-old lesbian from Los Angeles, I think it's important that we are real if we're going to get through this recap. Bear with me!

The show starts out with Whitney and Sara (Whitney's ex-gf/current booty call) having lunch and discussing whether or not to be together. Whitney's friends don't like Sara for Whit, and it's clear that Whitney understands their concerns when she compares her feelings for Sara to a heroin addict's desire fo heroin, and describes Sara as "a form of leprosy." Uhhh, I've never done heroin, nor have I been afflicted by a case of leprosy, but I think both are pretty damn horrible to endure. Just me? Okay... moving right along.

We then meet Romi and her adorable girlfriend, Kelsey, who are in New York celebrating Romi's 29th birthday. Their verbal exchange and their mom-and-boi dynamic tell us Romi has nabbed herself a spring chicken. After having been together/living together for the past 10 months, they are going through tough times, but they really want to be together. Currently, they are battling a horrible condition... bed death. BED DEATH?! 10 months in, and bed death?! I don't remember Romi dealing with bed death when she was hooking up with Whitney. Then again, she was a bit younger. Later, Romi and Kelsey fight about how needy Kelsey is and Romi thinks Kelsey should understand that she wants more than Romi is willing to give. They get drunk, head back to the hotel and start making out, and Romi falls asleep before Kelsey can get any action. This relationship looks promising.Boooooo to you, Romi! Your young boi has needs, girl.

The day turns into night, and we're still in New York. This is where we meet Claire, the blonde "rice chaser." She has decided to leave her "perfect girlfriend" to venture off to Los Angeles and develop her website... AAAAND firgure out why she can't get over her ex-girlfriend, Francine.

Cue Francine and the L.A. backdrop!

Francine discusses the Claire situation with her hair/makeup stylists on the set of her photoshoot. She admits she's still harboring feelings for Claire, but is confused as to how the situation is going to work because of Claire's NY girlfriend, Vivian. Oh, and she mentions Claire will be staying with her! C'mon ladies, I know we're lesbians who "U-Haul" and remain life-long friends after breaking up, but seriously?

You still with me???

Next is Sajdah (Saj). She's a new Angelino by way of D.C. and she is an activist, which is commendable and pretty kick-ass. I'm glad people will get the chance to see that lesbians in Los Angeles aren't all models, actors, promoters, dancers, or writers*. (*Just a fun fact: The best ones ARE writers.)

More on next page...

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Then, we come face to face with hopeful mamas-to-be Kasy and Cori. They're the married couple of the bunch who spend a lot of time looking for answers on their computer to get their family started. Although I can't identify with the couple, I find them endearing and genuine. Probably the only grown ups in the series.

Are you having Whitney withdrawals with all this talk about other people? Cool, me neither. But for those of you who are, I'm about to perpetuate your obsessive behavior with a Whitney update.

Sara invites Whitney over for some handy work and pays Whitney with a cookie - an actual cookie - and they part with an awkward handshake.

Finally, we head back to NY to meet Rachel, one of Whitney's many ex's. Coincidentally enough, we meet Sara's ex-gf Hana who is also a friend of Rachel's. Hana is the one who provides Rachel with the inside scoop on the "Whitney and Sara" relationship status. Where most would look to Facebook for such information, Rachel looks to Hana. Why is their status important? Because, naturally, Rachel and her "clitoral stimulator" are packing for a move to L.A. But unlike Francine's ex-gf Claire, Rachel won't be living in Whitney's house... she'll being living in Whitney's BACK-house. It's totally different, I swear.

Now that you've met everyone, let's just breeze through the rest of this!

Alyssa (Whitney's roommate) calls Whitney out about already planning to sleep with Rachel, which Whitney later affirms. Surprise, surprise. Rachel's arrival is exciting for Whit, but nothing goes on between Whitney and Rachel. Instead, Whitney ducks out when she gets a chance to execute a booty call with Sara.

Claire makes it to Francine's house in L.A., but the welcome was anything but warm. Francine isn't sure what Clair'e trying to pull or what her intentions are, so she starts asking all the hard-hitting questions. It probably would have been better to ask those questions BEFORE Claire arrived, but then that wouldn't be as dramatic, I suppose.

Saj goes on a date with a girl she met on a dating website, and is 100% satisfied with the outcome. Her date is one sexy dame! After seeing what a mama's-girl Saj is, though, I'm thinking this is going to be one difficult relationship. Especially since it's Saj's first relationship with a female.

Finally, Kacy and Cori's sperm donor was more attached to his sperm than they thought, and he pulled out of the commitment, leaving the loving ladies to continue the search.

Did I miss anything? If I did, it probably wasn't worth mentioning anyhow.

Until next week, ladies!

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