5 Completely Embarrassing Things Your Mom Said To Your First Girlfriend

Your mom is usually pretty cool. She sent you care packages in college, calls you once a week to make sure you’re not having another existential crisis, and happily invited your first girlfriend to your family’s annual holiday party. Unfortunately, even moms who are usually pretty cool are still capable of embarrassing you as much in adulthood as she did in seventh grade when she made a frumpy ladybug costume for you at the same time all your friends were delving into the store bought tiny fairy costumes. In fact, you’ve begun to suspect there’s a legal requirement that straight moms must say these five totally embarrassing things to your first girlfriend.