Growing up and coming into my own as a gay man, I was influenced by many factors that made me believe that all lesbians were butchy, angry and hated gay men, which in turn filled me with fear about being around them. I was convinced that if I ever ran into a lesbian I would be pummeled, either physically or verbally. I assumed lesbians would attack me based on gay stereotypes, and I would be derided for being weak and feminine (I’m like so not fem. In fact I’m watching football right now. Go Dodgers!). I bought into these stereotypes as quickly as I do a YSL Peacoat on sale or a pair of Donna Karan briefs, which honestly are soooo comfy.  

Over time, as I integrated myself into the LGBT community, I concluded that I was being nothing short of a jackass, and that I was the one harboring stereotypes. I mean, I hadn’t even met a lesbian, but now that I have, and I know more than a baker’s dozen, they are some of my best friends. After having met all my best gay girlfriends at random, we hit it off instantaneously, and our planned separate days became one and a drink or seven was had by all.

Nowadays my lesbian friends know more about me than most people, possibly to a sickening level. They have always picked up the phone and come to me when in trouble. Emotional and mental support I’ve received from them. Some of the best nights, conversations and romps around town I’ve had with my girls. There are times I’d rather relax in flannel pajamas, play a board game and drink a beer with the ladies while listening to Ani DiFranco as we dive into our strife’s, accomplishments, loves and losses, goals and plans. Sometimes hitting the clubs and pounding back a keg’s worth of Cosmo’s with my boys is just plain boring. I’ve also picked up a really cool shirt or two from my girls, and if I had overalls and they wanted to borrow them, they could in an instant.

I just got off the phone with one of my best girls who was helping me with a tech issue on my AIDS / LifeCycle donation page. Not only is she tech savvy, she is f’in fabulous! In fact we are riding together and have formed a team (along with one of my other best lezzies). She has named our team: Racks and Rims… Oh, did I mention that you can always donate to our team here!

There are times when I’m out in boystown and I overhear guys scoffing at lesbians and relying on stereotypes so they can keep their distance from them while maintaining a sense of superiority. If they just let go and said hello, they’d realize that a best friend could be hiding behind the skinny jeans and flannel shirt. The ignorance and fear I filled myself up with slowly eroded into love and appreciation. All it took was for me to get over negative feelings I had that were based on… well, shit really. In addition to that, all I had to do was throw up a smile and say hello. In turn I received the same, and in the long run I’ve made lifelong friends. They aren’t just my best lesbian friends, but best friends.

I’m flipping through my calendar for this upcoming year and I just came across Boxing Day. What the hell is that about? Is that like where we celebrate the likes of Mike Tyson or Floyd Mayweather? I swear it’s also some English or Canadian holiday. I have no clue honestly, so I’ve gone ahead and crossed it out on my calendar and penned in Vadge Day as a day of appreciation for my lezzies. Home Depot cards abound for them all.  

This isn’t to diminish the love and appreciation I have for my gay, transgender, asexual, bisexual friends, but… well, I’m writing this for a lesbian site.

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