Into Suburban Dads? TikTok Has the Chaotically Horny Song for You

TikTok has a way of breathing new life into videos that didn’t quite hit on their original platforms, for better or for worse, and pop musician Ian Lockwood is getting a taste of that TikTok promo after sharing a clip of his deeply disconcerting music video about lusting after a boyfriend’s dad.

Tagged #stacysdad in an obvious nod to the iconic hetero “Stacy’s Mom” by Fountains of Wayne, Lockwood’s clip praises the “Thick D, thick A, thick 401K” of “your dad, your dad, your dad” in an ultra-horny ode to suburban dads.

The 23 seconds shared to TikTok is enough to be nightmare fuel. Without any further context or knowledge of Lockwood himself, it’s impossible to tell if this is a parody of queer daddy culture, a misfired attempt at serious music, or something unholy dwelling in the darkness that lives between.

But as chaos only begets chaos, the comments ate this up.

“Finally on the side of tiktok I’ve been looking for,” wrote @dannypagetastic.

“Me on tinder putting the age range 50-100+,” @1nternethunnie joked, while another viewer insisted they would play the song at their wedding.

A quick jump over to Lockwood’s YouTube channel reveals that the clip was in fact taken from a full music video for “Your Dad,” which premiered last October. It didn’t get much traction on the page, having only 2400 views over four months later — a fraction of the attention it’s already gotten in just three days on TikTok.

Fortunately, the full version makes it a lot more clear that this is, to some extent at least, a joke we’re all supposed to be in on together, particularly when Lockwood takes a verse to explain how he would get rid of his boyfriend’s mom (in pursuit of his father) by lurking around the house pretending to be a ghost.

“I put your mom in a psych ward / Mom in a psych ward / Gaslight her ass / Put your mom in a psych ward,” he sings.

Pure chaos. And, to Lockwood's credit, nothing screams queer energy more than pure, horny chaos.