But How Do You KNOW You’re Bisexual?

There’s no single question more infuriating to a bisexual than, “How do you know you’re bisexual?” Needless to say it’s insulting, but it’s also ignorant assuming that we hold the burden of proof when gay or straight folks don’t have to justify their sexuality. Only people who fall somewhere in the middle of the sexuality spectrum need to prove their sexual identity. No straight woman is ever asked, “How do you know you’re straight?”

Most of the time, you’re in a good mood, and you want to kindly explain how the question is ignorant and inappropriate. Other times, especially when the person is being unnecessarily hostile, you don’t want to deal with it. And that’s your right. You don’t need to be the one explaining bisexuality every single freakin’ time—especially when you didn’t bring up your sexuality to begin with.

I know it’s hard to believe, but sometimes, we don’t walk to talk about ourselves.

When that’s the case, don’t feel guilty or pressured. Don’t feel responsible to prove your bisexuality. You don’t need to prove it to anyone. Feel free to be a little sassy.

Here are a few responses to the evil question, “But how did you know you are bisexual?” that not only shut the conversation down, but also reveal how asinine the question is.

1. “How do you know you’re bisexual?”
“How did you know you’re gay/straight?” 

2. “How do you know you’re bisexual?”

“How does one really know anything for sure? When it comes to epistemology, I’m a skeptic. Definitively prove to me that we’re not living in the matrix and I’ll prove to you I’m bisexual.” 

3. “How did you know you’re bisexual?”

“You know how some people like apples and some like oranges?”

“What, you like both?”

“No, I don’t like fruit. I like penises and vaginas.”

4. “How do you know you’re bisexual?”
“How do you not know to ask that question?” 

5. “How do you know you’re bisexual?”
“Why do I have to prove it to you?” 

6. “How do you know you’re bisexual?” 
“I forgot my government documents proving I’m a bisexual at home, but I can show you next time.”

7. “How do you know you’re bisexual?”
"Cause I screwed both your mom and dad." (Alright, definitely don’t say that. That’s highly inappropriate, and s/he may have same-sex parents, but we can dream, right?)