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7 Ways to Make Sure The Girl You've Been Crushing on Knows You're Bi ... and Single

7 Ways to Make Sure The Girl You've Been Crushing on Knows You're Bi ... and Single

7 Ways to Make Sure The Girl You've Been Crushing on Knows You're Bi ... and Single
McKennaMagazine

You're in a bar with some friends. Going out has become a sort of Friday night tradition. This time's a little different, though, because she's here.

The woman you've been crushing on is here tonight. Maybe a mutual friend invited her, and all you can think about is how to make sure she knows you're available.

The world is a heteronormative place. Us LGBT+ folks know that better than anyone. And heteronormativity is your worst enemy and your biggest roadblock when it comes to flirting and hoping to enter into a new relationship. Sadly, more often than not, people assume others are straight.

So, how do we fix that? How can we make sure that right now -- here in this imaginary, hypothetical situation I've created -- how can we make sure she knows we're not only available, but very interested?

1. Mention past interest in your own gender

This could be as simple as talking about the giant, pubescent crush you had on Pink, or offhandedly mentioning a past partner or girlfriend.

2. Suggest that the group go to an LGBT+ bar next Friday

Even if it doesn't work out, at least you'll have a fun night surrounded by awesome people.

3. Bring up someone famous on the bi team

"Hey, did you hear about that new Angelina Jolie movie?"

4. Have a friend tell her

Sure, it'll feel like you've time traveled back to third grade, but who doesn't love a #TBT?

5.  Cross your fingers and hope she figures it out on her own

She'll get there. Have faith.

#TheTruthIsOutThere #IWantToBelieve

6. Go to this site, buy this shirt, and wear it next week

Side note: I actually do own that shirt and it's one of my favorite things I own.

7. Just say it. Tell her and ask her out.

Alright, folks. Jokes aside, let me tell you why #7 is always, always the best way to go.

First of all, it requires no manipulation and starts your potential relationship out on the right foot. When asked what the most important part of a relationship is, most people will say honesty and communication. You can't have either of those if you're trying to direct her in a certain way so that you can drop a hint.

Secondly, it's the most mature option. Now, I know what you're thinking; "Maturity? What? Adulthood? Yuck!"

I hear you. I'm with you. I understand, and I agree.

However, when it comes to relationships, whether they be platonic or romantic, maturity is important. Maturity is what allows for completely open and honest communication, which we've already agreed is pretty darn important.

Finally -- and most importantly -- it's better for everyone. As long as you are direct, respectful, and make sure she knows it's perfectly okay to say no, you're all going to walk away feeling good, even if it ends in rejection for you.

The last time I asked a woman out, it worked out ... for about a week. After that, stuff kind of fell apart. But that happens, you know? The weirdest part was that even when I was saddened by the loss of this new, wonderful relationship I'd imagined, I still felt more confident than before I asked her. I felt like I'd done something important -- something good for myself.

I'd gone after what I wanted and I'd been okay when it didn't work out. I learned that surprisingly, even if they say no, there's still a strange feeling of confidence and self-assurance that comes with asking someone out.

It also helps the other person get on the same page as you, which they will appreciate.

So, my friends, choose #7.

If you do and it works out, send me happy stories about you and your new partner in crime.

If not, know that you are awesome and all the more so because you didn't let the fear of rejection stop you. And, because you still have the right to feel sad about it not working out, the Ben & Jerry's is on me.

Advocate Channel - The Pride StoreOut / Advocate Magazine - Fellow Travelers & Jamie Lee Curtis

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Mckenna Ferguson

McKenna is a freelance writer, Netflix addict, and Colorado State University alumna. Her hobbies include sleeping, staying indoors, and crop top advocacy. #CropTopsForAll

McKenna is a freelance writer, Netflix addict, and Colorado State University alumna. Her hobbies include sleeping, staying indoors, and crop top advocacy. #CropTopsForAll