"Sit Next to Kim Davis," the Twitter account from the person who allegedly sits next to Kim Davis, the anti-gay Kentucky clerk who went to jail rather than serve marriage licenses to same-sex couples, has offered up some of the best satire the Internet has experienced in years since it was created last week. And now that she’s been released from jail and is headed back to her post in Rowan County, the satirical site has fired another set of hilariously on-point tweets.
This morning a federal judge ordered that Davis, a freshly anointed martyr for conservative, anti-gay types be released from jail at the Carter County Detention Center in Grayson, KY after a five-day stay. Davis’ supporters had been planning a rally for the moment of her release for days, some even camping out in solidarity, according to WHAS News.
Among the conservative luminaries on hand to greet Davis was GOP Presidential Candidate Mike Huckabee, who proclaimed, “Kim Davis is free” to supporters at what’s been dubbed the “I’m with Kim Liberty Rally.”
Once she's back at her post Davis is not allowed to interfere with the issuance of marriage licenses for same-sex couples, but she doesn’t actually have to issue them herself, per the Judge’s orders, according to NPR.
@nexttokimdavis wasted no time in coming up with the following Tweets that really get to the heart of the absurdity around the entire situation, including the rally and the fact that she doesn’t really have to do her job.
\u201cWe're going to hide the shredder. That will drive #KimDavis crazy when she gets here.\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441739239
\u201cTodd just declared that he's a vegan and won't be handing out hunting licenses. COME SAVE US, @tedcruz!!!\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441736733
\u201cI don't care what happens. I'm not giving #KimDavis her fucking chair back. She gets a million dollars, I get lumbar support.\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441735694
\u201cTodd just issued a marriage license for @GovMikeHuckabee and @tedcruz!!!\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441735208
\u201cHOW DO I GET TWITTER OFF MY WORK COMPUTER BEFORE #KimDavis GETS BACK?!?\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441733179
\u201chttps://t.co/TxXZ34lMHv\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441731614
\u201chttps://t.co/IqN2sNiYb5\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441738088
\u201cLOL MY BOSS IS IN JAIL RIGHT NOW https://t.co/HoGhkxn9Pk\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441730715
\u201cYou have to be related to #KimDavis to get a job here. https://t.co/ewukFwjkB9\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441729209
\u201c#KimDavis told the judge that she would "prevent" us from handing out licenses. How is she going to do that?!?! We all just got scared.\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441726229
\u201cWHY IS THE FUCKING WEATHER CHANNEL HERE AND THERE'S NO PARKING AT @DunkinDonuts https://t.co/4OKWQic6Bs\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441725922
\u201cI AGREE, T-SHIRT. I AGREE. https://t.co/Gcl2kobgHP\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441725814
\u201cOh, hey. Westboro Baptist Church is here, because WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH ASSHOLES HERE YET\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441725457
\u201cThey called of schools for the @GovMikeHuckabee rally today! #KimDavis, HOW MANY MORE PEOPLE'S DAYS DO YOU NEED TO FUCK UP B4 YOU'lL B HAPPY\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441724726
\u201cWith schools called off, @GovMikeHuckabee, @tedcruz , and #KimDavis are literally making people dumber.\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441724876
\u201cSOMEONE has to do work. You know, at goddamned work. https://t.co/UIZzLZgNMn\u201d— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@Formerly next to Kim Davis) 1441686382
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