In the March issue of the Advocate, cover girl Portia de Rossi inadvertently soaks in the spotlight to discuss marriage equality, happiness as a being choice and for the first time-her new book.

The Better Off Ted actress married talk show host and comedian Ellen DeGeneres in 2008 and in the interview, she reveals that marriage has made her fall in love all over again, "I thought I'd feel more blasé about it, more comfortable. But it's the complete opposite-I've become a lot less selfish. I'm constantly thinking about her needs and our needs as a team. It's a lovely, symbiotic partnership. Who knew marriage could be like that? I'd only heard bad things about it."

As a true leader and spokeswoman for marriage equality, the Advocate calls De Rossi a "perfectly poised first lady of advocacy" and the proof is coming in March when the Human Rights Campaign will acknowledge her with its Visibility Award at a ceremony in Los Angeles.

"Ever since Ellen and I got together, I feel like I've been given an opportunity to actually-God, this sounds corny..." She rolls her eyes at herself. "Well, I feel like my life can actually kind of stand for something. And I don't mean that in a self-aggrandizing way, like, 'Look at me, I can make a difference.' But I feel like, maybe I get why I'm here."

At the time of the interview, the Proposition 8 trial had just begun in San Francisco and lawyers were cross-examining expert witnesses. "Hmm, let's see," she says. "Look at the country. Do we all have equal rights? No. Case closed."

"I think it's up to us to save marriage," she says. "Up to gay people across the country, seeing as though we're fighting for it so vehemently. This whole thing has been a wave of excitement and hope, and then it gently falls back into despair. And then it picks us up again. Unfortunately, we're the ones who have to suffer this-this humiliation, really. There's kind of a dignity that's been stripped from us. Gay people are the ones who have to suffer through it-but without it, it won't change."

Read the full interview with De Rossi here.

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