Courtesy of HBO
What happens in the White Lotus, definitely doesn’t stay in the White Lotus.
StickyKeys
February 16 2023 1:56 PM EST
December 21 2023 7:13 PM EST
There are plenty of reasons why HBO’s The White Lotus became the watercooler show as soon as it debuted. The drama, the intrigue, the locales, the Jennifer Coolidge of it all — and of course all those steamy love scenes.
The White Lotus follows several families and individuals as they vacation at a high-end resort in a beautiful locale. Season one was set in Hawaii and set the scene for resort-based shenanigans mixed with a bit of murder. Season two moved to gorgeous Sicily. We spend a week with the vacationers and they are anything but uneventful.
In its two seasons (so far!) the show has already racked up a whole bevy love of sexy scenes, so we decided it was time to revisit and celebrate them in ascending order. We went through every sex scene in both seasons of The White Lotus and ranked them for your judging pleasure. So get your Mai Tai or Paloma ready and put on your best lei! We’ve got 18 scenes (plus 2 bonus scenes!) to dissect!
18. E2.4 Mia and Giuseppe
Mia is a musician who will do anything (and anyone) for her big break. Including current White Lotus piano player Giuseppe (Federico Scribani Rossi). This scene is the most hilariously awkward sex scene of the series — which is saying a lot! From the locale (the resort chapel) to the reason (for Lucia to be able to perform), to the obstacles (Lucia giving Giuseppe what she thought was viagra), this unlikely pairing had zero chemistry. The scene was hard to watch but completely unforgettable.
17. E2.1 Lucia and Dominic
Sure, Dominic (Michael Imperioli) was supporting Italy’s thriving small business sector by employing sex workers Lucia (Simona Tabasco) and Mia (Beatrice Granno), but to do so during a family vacation with his elderly father Bert (F. Murray Abraham) and his impressionable son, Albi (Adam DiMarco)? Priorities, Dom!
16. E1.1 Shane and Rachel
The first sex scene of the series features a young newlywed couple. Shane (Jake Lacy) and Rachel (Alexandra Daddario). It’s their first night in paradise and the coupling seems to represent Rachel’s reconciliation with the fact of her new life. Shane is pitching a fit about the room and Rachel is just trying to enjoy the resort and blatantly ignoring the fact that she may have made a huge mistake. Hot-ish?
15. E2.2 Dominic, Lucia, and Mia
Dominic and Lucia may have been ho-hum on their own, but adding Mia into the mix takes this menage a trois to a whole new level of steaminess.
14. E1.6 Nicole and Mark
Nearing the end of their eventful vacation Nicole (Connie Britton) and Mark (Steve Zahn) are thrust into a situation where Nicole is in danger and Mark comes to her rescue. After days of Mark trying (and failing) to bed his wife, this display is what finally turns the tide.
13. E2.4 Lucia and Albie
This is an interesting scene because we know Lucia is self-serving (and deservedly so), but she does seem to care for Albie. Is it a game, or is it a true connection? Who knows? All I know is that is super awkward considering she just slept with his dad two days before!
12. E1.5 Paula and Kai
One of the few scenes involving the teenagers and one that was surprisingly sweet. Paula (Brittany O’Grady) and Kai (Kekoa Kekumano) were both accessories in their own ways. Paula was brought into this idyllic setting, but with a family whose ignorance was becoming less and less tolerable. Kai felt his family was being taken advantage of by a resort that was benefiting from his culture. The connection between the two is unmistakable and sweet and leads to some very “Eat the Rich” antics.
11. E2.7 Harper and Ethan
In the season two finale, Harper (Aubrey Plaza) and Ethan are finally on the same page. Harper has confessed, and Ethan has decided to believe her. Once they have an idea of the magnitude of what they could lose in each other, something seems to click between them. It’s still pretty boring, but it’s sweet.
10. E2.1 Tanya and Greg
What a difference a change in locale makes. It’s season 2 and this time Tanya (Jennifer Coolidge) arrives with her now husband, Greg (Jon Griess)! They seem to be… well, more “intolerant” than “in love” and this is exemplified by one of the more awkward sex scenes of the series. One where, in mid-coitus, Tanya suddenly becomes more enraptured by local sculpture than the man on top of her. She leaves him “unfinished” and he mocks her for eating macarons. Yikes, Tanya, seems like that honeymoon phase is over!
9. E1.4 Tanya and Greg
The White Lotus is an ensemble drama but the standout character is the one who traveled on the boat on her lonesome. Tanya had our hearts from the beginning with her forlorn personality, and impeccable wardrobe. She chances upon a new gentleman that seems to like her, flaws and all. And we see her give love a chance with a very sweet kiss.
8. E2.3 Cameron, Ethan, Mia, and Lucia
How many lives can get ruined in one scene during this show? Cameron (Theo James) and Ethan (Will Sharpe) are on their own and of course, the first thing Cameron does is invite an escort Lucia and her bestie Mia to their room. Shenanigans ensue when a rogue condom is later discovered by the wrong wife.
7. E1.5 Tanya and Greg
A well of deep-seated insecurity, Tanya begging new beau Greg to leave in one breath and wildly making out with him the next (after he utters the oh-so-romantic line of “I still wanna f*ck you”) is peak Tanya and peak White Lotus-era shenanigans.
6. E2.5 Lucia and Albie
After their previous oral rendezvous, Lucia and Albie fully seal the deal — and it's oh-so-steamy.
5. E2.4 Portia and Jack
Haven’t we all been a little bit Portia (Haley Lu Richardson)? There are two guys, one is an Ivy-bred future executive like Albie, and the other is Jack (Leo Woodall). A beautiful, blonde bad boy with an accent and a body-ody? Of course, we’re going to follow our loins instead of our heads. No judgment here, Portia, we get it!
4. E2.5 Jack and Quentin
However, one thing you gotta know is that these bad boys are exactly that and are not about permanence. A night, maybe two is the most you can get. So it was no surprise when we saw Jack, hooking up with his “uncle” Quentin (Tom Hollander). Quentin is one of the group of gays that Tanya has befriended and Tanya catches Jack and Quentin in the act and struggles with the fact that she has to tell Portia. Thankfully the news comes out sooner rather than later that all is not on the up and up.
3. E2.6 Tanya and Nicolo
Tanya is one of those women at the roulette table that just can’t walk away. Hers will be the only round in history with an absurd amount of series and double zeros and yet she will stay just for the attention and the allusion of being wanted. Still, this scene with Nicolo (Stefano Gianino) is finally the truly sexy one that Tanya deserves.
2. E2.6 Mia and Valentina
Everyone’s favorite cantankerous counter worker, Valentina (Sabrina Impacciatore), is not here for your mess. She’s a tough woman, but only one person can bring out her softer side, and that’s Isabella (Eleonora Romandini). Too bad Isabella is not only in a hetero relationship, but they’re engaged and in love. Thankfully one of our favorite lobby escorts, Mia, knows just how to turn her frown upside down.
1. E1.4 Armond and Lukas
“Listen, I’m obsessed with you. I want to get you naked. What do I gotta do?” Armond (Murray Bartlett) asks this of the blonde surfer babe, Dillon (Lukas Gage). The beleaguered resort manager was three days into a bender that’d ended his five years of sobriety. He was reckless, uninhibited, and ready to party. We’re treated to a snippet of analingus before the duo is interrupted by Belinda (Natasha Rothwell) and Shane. The scene is short-lived but impactful.
BONUS: E2.6 Harper and Cameron
Ethan proves that bullying lasts far longer than bygone school days. He knows guys like Cameron and he believes that whatever he has, Cam will go for. Including his wife. After hearing that Cameron exposed himself to Harper, Ethan becomes obsessed with the idea of infidelity. So obsessed he imagines a scene that is frankly hot and if Ethan ever wants to pursue a career in fanfic, I will give him all the kudos!
BONUS: E2.7 Daphne and Ethan
Daphne (Meghann Fahy) and Ethan never really seemed compatible, but it seems to be the thing they don’t have that unites them, and that’s the exclusive affection of their partners. Their mysterious disappearance on a forgotten island led to the “did they?” or “didn’t they?” that rocked the entire series. Fans debated for weeks whether Daphne and Ethan’s jaunt ended in some reconciliatory sex.
Each of these scenes brought us further into the quiet chaos that is The White Lotus. Can’t wait for next season!
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