15 Signs That Prove You're In A Healthy Girl-Girl Relationship

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Being in a girl-girl relationship sometimes isn’t the easiest thing. Everyone seems to know that lesbian relationships can be pretty volatile, and you know this well if you're a lesbian in a relationship.

But like with most things in the world, you can usually gauge something based on what your gut is telling you. If you’re having a bad feeling about something, you should figure out why. But if you have a good feeling about your relationship and these are some of the signs you’re seeing, then you're in the right place with your partner.

1. You have conversations, not fights.

This is a huge thing that you should pat yourself on the back for, if you are able to talk out your issues instead of fighting about them.

2. You talk through charged topics without anyone crying or interrupting one another.

Interrupting your partner or losing control of your emotions is the easiest way to make things escalate and turn a conversation into a fight.

3. You rarely go to bed mad.

Going to bed mad never feels good, and if this isn’t happening to you, you should be happy.

4. Silences between the two of you aren’t uncomfortable.

An awkward silence is insufferable, so delight in the fact that you can ride in the car without having to talk. It’s a good thing.

5. When something is bothering one of you, it never festers or blows over.

Continue to cultivate an atmosphere between the two of you that allows for openness with one another because it’s best when you can confront a problem right as it's happening. Otherwise, you start to feel resentment. 

6. You support each other in things that you’re passionate about, even if the other one isn’t.

Like perhaps you’re really into your african dance class and she’s into roller derby. Supporting her alternative hobbies is only going to provide you with someone to cheer for you and your alternative hobby.

7. Nobody flips out when one of you makes plans to hang out without the other one. 

Being able to disconnect and then reconnect is so much better than being attached at the hip. Trust us.

8. You can talk about finding other women attractive with no problem.

You're both human and you're both adults, but that doesn’t mean your human urges are completely shut down, and it's important for you to be in a safe and open enough place to be able to voice them. More maturity points.

9. There is no shaming about your sexual and/or relationship history.

Nothing is worse than having your partner say, “ew aren’t you glad that’s over?” about someone you previously dated, because it’s not only putting that person down (not cool), it’s putting you down. So *snaps* if you don’t do this or allow this to be done to you.

10. Hanging out with exes is a non-threatening situation.

Not to say that you’re friends with all your exes, but if you are, or if she is, this shouldn’t be a threatening thing. If they want to chill, it’s OKAY. So what if they used to fuck. There’s a reason they aren’t together anymore, and you need to trust in that and in them, that not everyone in the world is out to get you.

11. Nobody negatively comments on the other’s style exploration—EVER.

Style exploration, especially in the queer world, is a pivotal part of our lives, and it's important to date a person who isn’t critical, doesn’t want to put you in a femme/butch box, or place limits on your expression. 

12. You know each other’s phone passcodes.

This is pretty huge. Trust issues are a pinnacle sign for a relationship that is in the gutter, so if you know each other’s phone passwords, that says a lot about how much you trust each other.

13. But you don’t ever use them unless the other person is there, and you ask first.

You trust each other and have respect for each other so you never ever cross the boundary of being a psycho invader of privacy. You both play nice.

14. And when you unlock her phone, it’s not to snoop on her.

Because you respect each other enough not to ever snoop, even if given the opportunity to. Just mostly take incognito selfies.

15. You don’t worry about who they’re texting/messaging/emailing/calling.

You don’t ever think about who they’re talking to you because you don’t need to. Email beeps and text notifications don’t make the hair on your spine stand up because you’re in a healthy relationship. Congratulations.