Who are we to tell you what to do? Or even what is a "lesbian" thing to do? The thing is that if you’re a lesbian and you're doing something, then it's inherently kind of lesbian. Basically, this is all about remembering to get out and there and live a little while sometimes paying homage to an identity. From stereotypical silly and fun stuff to reading, watching, and Sapphic pilgrimages, here's our list of 100 Things to Do.
1. Make a Pilgrimage to Northampton Massachusetts
Home to Smith College, and with another Seven Sisters College -- Mount Holyoke -- only 20 minutes away, this little town in the Pioneer Valley was once deemed the most lesbian city in the country, and it's still well worth the visit. Funky shops, vegan and ethnic restaurants, and cool coffee shops, and cute women abound.
2. Participate in a Dyke March
Dyke Marches have been around since 1993, and if you've never been surrounded by throng of proud, empowered dykes, you're overdue.
3. Come Out
It seems like an obvious one, but, wow, does it ever feel good once you've done it!
4. Take an Olivia Cruise
I was once on a cruise ship with 2,000 other queer women in a hurricane, and it was magical. You might not have that experience on your first cruise with a lesbian travel company, but you'll bond with hundreds of women on the high seas in one way or another.
5. Go to a taping of The Ellen DeGeneres Show
This is if you find yourself in Los Angeles any time soon. There's really no better fun than watching the master of talk shows at work on the Warner Bros. lot in Burbank.
6. Watch 'The L Word'
Sure, it looks a little hokey now, but it was the first of it's kind, and those sex scenes were like nothing we'd ever seen back in 2004! Plus, Kate Moennig as Shane, duh!
7. Have a Conversation with an Older Lesbian
If you've never had the pleasure of speaking with a significantly older lesbian than you, it can be incredibly eye-opening and humbling. They are walking history for all they endured at the time they came out. Respect.
8. Attend a Drag King Show
Drag Queens get a lot of love, but what about the Kings? Show your support and catch a show with wildly entertaining, smooth AF, and smoking hot drag kings.
9. Dress in Drag
Take it a step further and try dressing in drag. It can be incredibly exciting and freeing to adopt a persona that's not your own.
10. Join a Dating App for Women
Dating is scary, even with all of the apps out there. Even if you're a traditionalist who believes in face-to-face love at first sight, see what these apps are all about. You might just make a connection.
11. Join a Queer Women's Sports League
There's nothing quite like some friendly competition between gay ladies to make you bond over a beer when the game/match is done. If you're not the sporty type, fans cheering at the sidelines are always appreciated.
12. Join a Lesbian Book Club
You'll read the classics, and you'll be sure to be up on the modern queer classics, all while resurrecting some queer theory you learned in that feminist English course you took.
13. Read One of Lillian Faderman’s Outstanding Lesbian History Novels
One of the preeminent chroniclers of lesbian/queer history, Faderman's Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers is an essential read. But that's just a starting place as she's written at least a half a dozen queer history books.
14. Read Sappho
Well, if you're going to read the lesbian canon, you've got to go back to the roots!
15. Strap It On
Even if you've never thought of yourself as the type to strap it on, it can be incredibly exciting and freeing. And if you're pretty much down for anything, then this is a must, with
16. Have Someone Strap It on for You
Getting face-to-face with a partner while she's strapping it on can be super intense and a lot of fun. If penetration is your thing, then have at it with someone you trust. And we're not saying you only have to go face-to-face.
17. Go to a Tegan and Sara Concert
They're fun, they're cute, they're gay, they're music is infectious... And, you'll be surrounded by thousands of like-minded, happy, dancing women!
18. Get to Know the Magic of Spashley from 'South of Nowhere.'
Spencer and Ashley from South of Nowhere are the original OTP. They're love is eternal, and so is our love for them. If you've never seen this sweet teen drama you can catch in on Amazon Prime and iTunes. You'll root for Spashley in no time.
19. Volunteer at a Soup Kitchen or Shelter
Volunteering feels good, and lesbians have a long history of being there for others.
20. Have a Girls-Only Weekend with Friends
No matter how much you love your girlfriend or your guy friends, spending a weekend with a bunch of women who are your besties, is a whole different kind of vibe. Wine is definitely recommended (if that's your thing).
21. Visit your local LGBT center (if there is one).
You might be surprised to discover all of the services some LGBT centers provide for the community -- from HIV/AIDs services to programs for queer and elderly youth, LGBT centers are really eye-opening.
22. Attend Women’s Films at an LGBT Film Fest
While there is more lesbian representation on TV than ever, a lot of the queer women in television (from writers to directors to producers) got their start at LGBT film fests. Check out the creative women making queer content for lesbian audiences.
23. Buy a Dildo
The act of going to a sex toy store and researching and buying a dildo is fun and sexy!
24. Buy a Vibrator
You like something with a little more action? Get a vibrator instead.
25. Attend a Lesbian Wedding
We get it. First, you have to be invited. But if you do get invited, don't pass up the chance to witness two women pledge their love and do something that wasn't legal just last year.
26. Read 'The Color Purple'
Alice Walker is an important, genius voice in literature, and The Color Purple is a must-read classic.
27. Watch a Now-Classic Lesbian Web Series Like 'Anyone But Me'
Not so long ago TV was still a really spare space for LGBT representation, but lesbians weren't sitting around doing nothing. Lesbian web series had a real moment beginning in about 2007. We highly recommend Anyone But Me.
28. Take a Hike with Your Girls
Get your heart rate up while communing with nature and chatting with your girl friends.
29. Listen to the Indigo Girls
If you've never sung "Closer to Fine" at the top of your lungs on a road trip, you're missing out on a near-universal lesbian experience from the late '80s / early '90s.
30. Watch 'Go Fish'
This is the lesbian film that changed lesbian cinema. It was the first movie released in theaters that depicted a group of lesbian friends who weren't wrestling with coming out, and it's important. Plus, Guinevere Turner was the cutest in it.
31. Go to a U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team Match
These women are world champions, and literally at the top of their game. Catch them if you can!
32. Attend a WNBA Game
Hoops more your thing? Watch the women of the Phoenix Mercury, the LA Sparks, The New York Liberty rule the court.
33. See 'Fun Home' on Broadway
The Tony-winning Broadway musical based on Alison Bechdel's graphic novel is truly one of the greatest cultural moments for lesbians ever. Catch it if you can on Broadway, or when it goes on tour next year. "Changing My Major" will become your new anthem!
34. Read 'Fun Home'
You loved the musical? Well, now you've got to read the deeply moving source material about Alison Bechdel's childhood coming out and living with a depressive, closeted father, all while living in a house that's also a funeral home. It's funny. We promise! And also, very compelling.
35. Play in a Drum Circle
Whether you've got rhythm or not, let loose and bang on a drum anyway. It's a totally freeing way to express yourself.
36. Go to Dinah Shore Weekend
It's hailed as the largest lesbian party in the world, and it is truly an experience. Just be sure to hydrate! It's a long haul in the hot sun with all of those bikini-clad women.
37. Do a Shot at One of the Last Remaining Lesbian Bars
There was a time when bars were where gay girls got together for a sense of community, and while communing at a bar wasn't always the most ideal spot, lesbian bars are an intergral part of our history. Lesbian bars are fast becoming a thing of the past, but there are still a few remaining, like My Sister's Room in Atlanta, The Cubbyhole in New York City, or Wildrose in Seattle.
38. Eat at a Women-Owned Vegan or Vegetarian Restaurant
Like lesbian bars, women-owned vegetarian restaurants, which proliferated in cities just a few decades ago, are pretty hard to find, but there are still a few around. If you ever find yourself in Connecticut, check out Bloodroot, which prides itself on having built a feminist community back in the '70s. Tempeh and revolution are in the air!
39. Visit One of the Last Remaining Queer Bookstores
Back in the day, if you weren't a bar person, you could find great reads and possibly a little intellectual conversation with the folks browsing the stacks of an LGBT bookstore. If you've never been to one, then we've got a list of some great ones right here for you. Sure, you've got Amazon, but it feels so good to support that local store.
40. Read Audre Lorde
A preeiminent queer poet and feminist, Audre Lorde's life and work can not be extricated. She famously said, "You're silence will not protect you" -- words she lived by. Do yourself a favor, and introduce yourself to the power of her words.
41. Go Camping
Pitch a tent, build a fire, make s'mores and sing a few campfire songs. Camping will be even better if you can fully unplug from your phone and if you've got someone to share your sleeping bag with you!
42. Rock a Flannel Shirt Like It's the '90s
Flannel is a multi-purpose fabric that can be both strong and feminine that has enjoyed several comebacks. It keeps you warm, it's soft against your face if you need something comforting. It can be worn over a tee and tucked in, or unbuttoned to the cleavage and tied up at the waist if you want to go really sexy. Flannel is timeless. Period.
43. Buy and Rock a REALLY Gay T-Shirt
Okay, so maybe not THIS gay, but you get the idea. Like, a really gay tee is perfect for certain occasions. Maybe you can find something with rainbows, unicorns, cats, and Ellen Page on it.
44. Attend New York City Pride
There is really nothing like watching the New York City Pride parade on Christopher Street in the Village. I highly recommend making the trek one year. It's steeped in history and is also one of the most mind-blowing pride parades in the world.
45. Visit One of the Seven Sisters Colleges
The female equivalent of the male Ivy League, the Seven Sisters women's colleges include Smith, Mount Holyoke, Wellesley, Barnard, Bryn Mawr, Vassar (now co-ed), and Radcliffe (which merged with Harvard). If you're the type who loves to fantasize about reading George Eliot on the green on an autumn day surrounded by other women studying, then a trip to one these storied institutions is worth it.
46. Check Out Camp Beaverton at Burning Man
How to explain Camp Beaverton at Burning Man in the California desert? Best to let the website do it -- "Camp Beaverton is a unique camp at Burning Man for women and trans folks who are queer, questioning, and beaver lovers." Just know that there are loads of workshops and impromptu happenings intended to help you feel safe and free and open. The're even the infamous Straponathon, which probably explains itself. But if you want more info about Camp Beaverton, check out the documentary Meet the Beavers.
47. Have a One-Night Stand
Okay, so one-night stands aren't for everyone, but if you're careful and safe, it can be a whole lot of fun to connect with someone sexually with no follow-up expectations!
48. Have a Long-Term Relationship
The process of getting to know someone over a period of time, whether it's several months, years, or decades, teaches everyone about compromise, sharing, forgiveness, and deeper lover. It's worth it to open yourself up to the possiblities of long-term love.
49. Attend a Sex Seminar
Discussing, or even thinking about sex while among a group of people can be confronting and awkward, but seminars about getting to know your body, or your partner's body, or strapping it on, etc... can be fun and sexy, even if you blush for the first few minutes.
50. Adopt a Pet
Do we even have to say it? If you're in a position to save the life of a sweet furry creature, it's pretty much a slam dunk. Who ends up saving who, really?
51. Get a Mani/Pedi
Whether you're girly or not, it doesn't matter. Walking out of a nail salon with perfectly trimmed, shaped, buffed or painted nails feels great.
52. Visit the Leslie Lohman Museum of Gay and Lesbian Art.
The Leslie Lohman Gallery in New York City's mission is: "To exhibit and preserve art that speaks directly to the many aspects of the LGBTQ experience, and foster the artists who create it. We embrace the rich creative history of this community by educating, informing, inspiring, entertaining, and challenging all who enter our doors." That's reason enough to check it out.
53. Watch the Films of Experimental Lesbian Filmmaker Chantal Akerman
Making a meatloaf in realtime on screen has never been the same since Chantal Akerman's benchmark film Jeanne Dielman, 23 Quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles, about a Brussels housewife slowly coming apart. Hailed as one of the most visionary directors of all time, Akerman's career spanned more than a quarter of a century, and her work, often steeped in her identity as a lesbian and a feminist, deserves to be seen. She died last October, and retrospectives of her work are popping up in major cities around the country.
54. Take a Cross-Country Road Trip
There really is nothing more freeing than hitting the open road, windows down, playlist of your choice blaring! Stop and take in as many landmarks and Americana and kitsch that you come across! Postcards are also a must.
55. Roleplay
Naughty nurse and patient, student and teacher, Xena and Gabrielle, Piper and Alex? Whichever fantasy floats your boat -- give it a try!
56. Say “I Love You” First
Sure, it can be a scary leap, but if you've been together a while, and you're being honest about your feelings, go for it. The trick is to do it without expectation of what she'll say back. Sometimes putting yourself out there can reap the greatest rewards.
57. Send Flowers to the One You Love
Everyone loves to get flowers. That's an unwritten fact of life (well, unwritten until now). Make her day, and send her some of her favorite flowers. Bonus points for knowing if she's got a special flower she loves.
58. Get To Know All Sorts of People Under the LGBTQ Umbrella
While there are some shared experiences among LGBTQ people, there are also a lot of differences. Get to know other people under the umbrella and learn about their lives and personal struggles. It makes us all stronger in the end.
59. Go to a Midnight Showing of 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'
A queer classic, midnight showings of Rocky were once one of the only places, besides bars, where LGBTQ people could go to feel safe and accepted. Bonus points if you show up in costume!
60. Attend Gay Days at Disney
The happiest place on earth is even happier when it's super gay!
61. Make or Contribute to a Queer Zine
One way to get around mainstream media is to make it yourself, something queer people have been doing for decades!
62. Join a Meet-Up
Do you like to hike, read, knit with like-minded people? There are queer meet-ups for all of these things, and that's a beautiful thing!
63. Watch Carol!
Carol may not have won any Oscars, but it won our hearts. The simple love story based on Patricia Highsmith's groundbreaking 1952 novel The Price of Salt, is a love story for the ages, and with a happy ending. Cate Blanchett, Rooney Mara, and Sarah Paulson are endlessly watchable in Toddy Haynes' pristine film. We can't say enough about it.
64. Follow Ellen Page on Instagram
Ellen Page is an Oscar-nominated actress, a producer, an activist, and a wildly entertaining social media figure. Do yourself a favor and add her to your Instagram feed. The pics of her with adorable puppies never get old.
65. Fight for Other Causes
Sadly, the fight for LGBT equality is far from over around the world and even in this country, as evidenced by the hateful anti-LGBT bills recently passed in North Carolina and Mississippi. Still, there are other causes that still need attention. Women continue to fight for equal rights all over the world, poor people are under-represented, #BlackLivesMatter must exist because of the continual inequality when it comes to race. Let's all fight for each other!
66. Vote
It's a big year with the Presidential election looming, but don't wait for the general election to make your voice heard. Get into the voting booth for the primaries and for local elections. Today's mayors and city council people are tomorrow's national leaders. Your vote matters!
67. Stay at a Lesbian-Owned Bed and Breakfast
B&Bs are unreasonably romantic, especially if it's one where you don't have to share the bathroom with three couples down the hall. But they are even better when you're supporting queer business and other women.
68. Attend Provincetown Women’s Week
It's just about the queerest place on earth located at the tip of Cape Cod. P-Town should be on everyone's bucket list, but for a shot of extra Sapphic fun, head to P-Town during women's week in October. The week brims with special events, parties, and comedy clubs chock-full of the hottest lesbian comics.
69. Send an Old-Fashioned Love Letter
Sure, email and texting are wonderful modern ways to communicate, but there really is nothing like the act of physically opening a letter, unfolding the pages and reading words of love hand-written by someone you love. Handwriting a letter is a deeply personal and lasting way to communicate and also a wonderful gift to the person you love.
70. Take a Leap and Ask Her Out
It's not always clear if someone is into you or not, but if you have a reasonable expectation that she might like you, then why not take a risk and ask her out? The worst that can happen is that she might turn you down. But what if you she doesn't? What if you never took the chance?
71. Read a Lesbian Pulp Novel
Lesbian pulp novels of the '50s were lurid and trashy and the lesbian character almost always ended up in a mental institution, back with men, or dead. Yes, that's super sad and awful, but it's also a part of our history, and plenty of pulp novelists, who were lesbians, found ways to sneak in little Easter eggs for the lesbian readers and not just for the straight guys who got into the genre. Check out Spring Fire by Vin Packer, or Ann Bannon's Beebo Brinker Chronicles.
72. Skinnydip!
Swimming nude feels great, especially if you do it with abandon with a bunch of other women. This is a highly recommended activity. Just don't do it where you could get arrested (or be very, very careful)!
73. Walk, Run, or Ride for a Cause
It feels really great to raise money for a cause like breast cancer, HIV/AIDs, arthritis, MS, mental health -- you name it. When you attach fundraising to a challenge like a run, a walk, or a bike ride, and then participate in said event with hundreds, maybe thousands, of like-minded people, it's a really mind-blowing feeling. Being a piece of something bigger than you is a wonderful feeling.
74. Visit the One Archives in Los Angeles
Now part of USC Libraries, the One National Gay and Lesbian Archives is the largest of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer (LGBTQ) materials in the world. Last Halloween the One Archives hosted the lesbian feminist haunted house Killjoy's Kastle in West Hollywood, but the archives is a great spot to spend an afternoon poking around.
75. Tour Paris’s Left Bank and the Places Gertrude Stein and Alice. B. Toklas Inhabited
Others have followed in Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas's footsteps on literary to visits to Paris, as typified by this one writer's blog. Shy of pulling off a Midnight in Paris feat of time travel, there are ways to feel close to the great Gertrude and Alice, beginning with their salon at Salon at 27 rue De Fleurus.
76. Hit Up an Inclusive Women’s Music Event
If you've never been to a women's music festival, it truly is a blast to shop artisan crafts, and eat hummus and tempeh in what's probably a chem-free zone while women in song waft over the loudspeakers. Also, an all-female dance pit is a thing to behold.
77. Hang Out with the Hip Girls in Brooklyn
Have you ever hung out in Brooklyn? Or are your trips to New York City typically to take in the Radio City Christmas show or the latest Broadway blockbuster? Mix it up a little and check out the artisanal shops and bars over the Brooklyn Bridge, which also happens to be a pretty great lesbian mecca.
78. Learn How to Lead a Partner in Ballroom Dance
How hot would it be to take your girl's hand on a crowded dance floor and swing and dip her until the whole crowd noticed? Learning to ballroom dance in general is pretty sexy, but your girl is going to love it when you take the reins.
79. Hitch a Ride with Dykes on Bikes at Pride
Strap on a pair of boots and straddle a strong woman on a hog at Pride. Like, that's a slam-dunk, right?
80. Share Your Coming Out Story
Coming out stories are our stories, and they sharing them can often help others feel less alone. There's a reason TV and movies still tell coming out stories. People are interested!
81. Travel to Europe!
Learning about other cultures helps us learn more about ourselves. There's a great big world out there. So go to Europe, go beyond Europe!
82. Build a One-Match Fire
If you're ever camping with a group of women and you want to seem like the most badass outdoorsy girl there, build a one-match fire. It's a simple, guaranteed crowd pleaser. Just be sure to get your tinder, kindling, and fuel in the right place.
83. Make the Perfect S’more.
Once that one-match fire is lit, it's time to build the perfect s'more. This, of course, depends on roasting that marshmallow so that it's not too firm and not too mushy.
84. Learn to Cook with Your Girlfriend
Food is love, and there's nothing more romantic than sharing a meal you cooked for each other. Pick a recipe you both love the sound of and get your hands dirty with some dicing, chopping, and mixing.
85. Go Whale Watching
Even if you don't happen to catch one of these grand creatures on your whale watch, you get to spend a few hours on the open ocean in the fresh air. Bonus, if you bring someone to wrap your arms around when it gets chilly.
86. Foster a Pet
Adopting a pet is a wonderful act, but fostering a pet requires even more selflessness to help care for a little creature of love that will eventually land in a home other than yours.
87. Have a conversation with a younger queer woman, and find out her story.
A lot can be learned by talking to people of various generations. In speaking to someone younger you'll discover new challenges, fears, and aspirations facing queer people. Every generation has its challenges, so open up and learn about what young people face.
88. Make a Drastic Hair Change
Cut it off, grow it out, buzz it, color it, go natural... These are all potentially drastic changes if you've worn your hair one way for years. Sometimes it's really freeing to try a look you never thought you would.
89. Be Supportive of a Friend Struggling with Their Sexuality
Just because you knew at four years old that you were a wee lesbian, it doesn't mean everyone else was so lucky to have it all figured out. Listen to someone who is struggling, and be there for them. Share your hopes and fears if need be. It could mean the world to the person who is figuring it out.
90. Relax in a Hot Spring
Hot springs are nature's spas. Commune with nature while letting those overworked muscles go. The bonus is that it's pretty tough to drag technology into a hot spring without ruining it, so you'll be forced to cut off from social for a while.
91. Support Indie Queer Theater
There are a lot of really talented people out there making thought-provoking work. Check out independent queer theater in your area. It may get you thinking!
92. Visit Stonewall
It's one of LGBT history's most iconic landmarks. If you're in New York City, make the trek to Stonewall and pour one out for all who came before!
93. Host Your Family for a Dinner that You and Your Girlfriend Made
Now that you and your girlfriend have mastered cooking together, host your families for dinner. Share the love. Let them see how good you are together.
94. Rock a Rainbow Flag Something
Rainbow socks, suspenders, tees, tiaras? Rock your queerness openly with some fun rainbow gear. Not everyday, maybe bust it out for special occasions.
95. Support a Lesbian Apparel Brand
There are some lesbian apparel brands making super slick clothes for women. We're particularly fond of Wildfang.
96. Read the Love Letters of Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville-West.
In a world where so many people put their personal loves on Instagram or Twitter, it's so refreshing to watch how deep, abiding love plays out in the pages of love letters. Of course, Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville-West wrote some epic love letters, so they're a great place to start.
97. Try Therapy, Maybe Even Couples’ Therapy
Even if you think you've got it all together, therapy and can offer perspective and validation in ways you never expected. If you're having relationship trouble, try couples' therapy. That third, unattached, voice can be beyond helpful.
98. Take a Queer Theory Class or Seminar
Once the stuff of heady liberal arts colleges, queer and feminist theory has entered the everyday lexicon. Words like trangsgressive, cisgender, trope... are all part of everyday speech these days. Dig in a little deeper with queer theory and take a class. You may even be able to find a MOOC, so it doesn't cost any money.
99. Shave Everything, or Frow It All Out
How to handle body hair is very personal. For some it's a political act to either shave it all or grow it all out. Try something new. Shave if you don't, grow it out if you do. Experimenting with these seemingly little things is often really freeing.
100. Be Yourself
At the end of the day, when you're done experimenting and trying out new things, be proud to be you.
