11 sex magic tips for getting what you want while getting off, according to experts

If you haven't tried sex magic, you're totally missing out!

If you’ve been following the rise of witchcraft, your ears may have perked when you heard the words “sex magic.” I mean, how could they not? If you’re curious, or have never heard of sex magic but read that headline and had to know, it’s fairly simple. Sex magic is using sexual energy (usually, your orgasms) to cast a spell and get what you want. Sound fabulous? It is.

So we talked to experts in the field to find 11 crucial pieces of information you should know about sex magic so you can start making your wishes come true while you get off!

1. Sex magic is using your sexual energy to cast a spell.

Sex magic, or “sex magick,” which can be the preferred spelling, uses your sexual energy (often an orgasm) to cast a spell. Casting a spell is just setting an intention and then performing a ritual to bring the intention to the universe’s attention. You can cast a spell with candles, jars, and perhaps the most fun, orgasms!

“Sex magick is basically harnessing the energy generated through sexual pleasure to fuel an intention or desire. If that feels ‘woo-woo,’ well... maybe it is, but it’s also about focusing your mind and body on something you truly want,” Stefanie Neumann, a sex educator and toy expert for Jack and Jill Adult, tells PRIDE.

2. The moon is one of your best friends

It's common thought that the lunar cycle has a lot of affect on our lives, both in and out of sex. When practicing sex magic, a radical approach to utilizing lunar vibrations is to charge your sex toys under the moon's energy. Companies like Chakrubs make crystal vibrators and yoni eggs that can help you revive your energy and get the most out of your experience.

“The moon is like our cosmic timekeeper — aligning your sex magick rituals with specific moon phases can amplify or diminish certain energies,” Neumann explains.

Not only does the moon help amplify energy, but the sun can also be a potent source of power you can utilize in your sex magic rituals, according to Maggie Dorsky, an author who writes about African American issues and spirituality. “The summer and early fall seasons, especially, are considered optimal for high-energy manifestations,” Dorsky says. “During this time, the sun is strongest, the earth is abundant, and the veil between intention and result is thinner. Many ancient sex rites occurred during harvest festivals, blending the themes of pleasure, prosperity, and divine union.”

3. Don't forget about colors

When setting your intention, pay attention to the colors associated with it. For example, if you want more money, imagine the color green. Love usually takes on a pink or red color, black tends to represent protection and grounding, and healing is usually shrouded in white. Color is also an energetic frequency that can help you turn your manifestations into reality.

“If you’re really into color symbolism, lighting colored candles or wearing certain hues can help cement your intention in your mind. Personally, I’ve done a ‘red candle’ ritual to heat things up in my bedroom. Maybe it was all in my head, but it felt electric,” Neumann admits.

4. Orgasms can be powerful tools to harness energy.

Everything has energy, and anyone who has had their soul sucked out of their chest when they came knows that orgasms are powerful forms of energy. Aside from feeling good and being a hot way to connect with your partner, some witches believe that the sexual energy within an orgasm can be used as a ritual to cast a spell.

Neumann calls orgasms a “kickstarter” and explains that you can harness that moment of bliss into powerful magic. “When that release happens, you’re sort of momentarily suspended between total bliss and total focus — which is where you can channel all that energy into the intention you’ve been setting,” she says, “And yes, you can totally ‘cast a spell’ during sex or masturbation — it’s essentially visualizing, meditating, or praying (whatever words you prefer) right as you head toward orgasm. Masturbation is actually a useful time to practice because no one else is there to throw off your concentration.

5. To cast a spell, just visualize what you want as you come.

Words like magic, rituals, and spells can seem complicated, but performing sex magic is easy peasy. Literally just visualize what you want while you come. Want to attract a new partner that fits a certain description? Think about them. Want some money? Think about cash while you come—we can all get off to that!

Dorsky says that sex magic is less about “spoken incantations” and more about “focus” and “intention” while you are orgasming. “You might mentally repeat your desire or visualize your goal as you approach orgasm,” she explains. "You can also create a simple ritual beforehand lighting candles, saying an affirmation, or writing your desire down. Ideally you want to share your intention with your partner so they can amplify it as they climax as well.”

6. Masturbation may be the best time to practice sex magic.

You want to give your spell your full concentration. If you’re having sex with someone else, you’re probably thinking about pleasing them sexually. Such thoughts can be distracting to sex magic. Therefore, while you can perform sex magic while getting it on with another (either fill them in on what’s happening, and you can come together for a collective goal, or don’t tell them) nights alone may be the best for sex magic. Then it’s just you, your orgasm, and your intentions.

“Masturbation is one of the most powerful ways to practice sex magick because it’s fully self-directed. There’s less distraction, more control, and deep potential for healing, especially around body image, shame, or past trauma,” Dorsky says.

7. Your spell doesn’t have to be about sex.

One of the biggest misconceptions about sex magic is that the spell you cast must be used to conjure a mate or to have better sex. You can practice sex magic to get whatever you want. Sexual energy is just energy. So feel free to visualize a bigger paycheck, a book deal, or physical health and happiness when you come. 

8. Create a magical setting.

To enhance the vibe of your magical masturbation night in, create a magical setting for yourself. You deserve it. Put on some music, light candles, or draw yourself a bath, scatter it with rose petals, and masturbate in the tub. Even if you don’t believe in magic, creating a romantic night in can be healing in itself. Dorsky suggests treating it like a sacred ritual and to cleanse your space with incense or herbs like rosemary, mugwort, or palo santo, and keep a crystal or talisman nearby.

“Set your intention clearly—say it aloud, write it down, or visualize it,” she says. “Your environment should feel sensual, sacred, and safe. Don't forget the roses. Always have roses because they are the highest vibrational flower.”

9. You can practice sex magic even when you’re not coming.

Orgasms get all the attention (and they are indeed powerful tools to cast magic with), but sexual energy is present more than just when we come. If you’re a highly sexual person, you may already be aware of the magnetism you cast. As you do your makeup, walk down the street, dance, and any other activity in which you’re feeling yourself, you can practice sex magic by visualizing your desires coming to fruition.

“Sex magick is rooted in your awareness of your sensual energy—not just the physical act,” Dorsky explains. “You can work with breathwork, meditation, dance, or energy work to raise and direct that energy. Tantric practices, mirror work, or simply affirming your desires while walking or journaling can all harness the same principles.”

10. It’s the intention that counts.

This one’s for the people who are like, 'Okay, well how does magic work?? Can I really get the partner of my dreams by masturbating?' Well, touching yourself and harnessing your orgasm is only one part of the equation. Before you perform any type of spell, think about what you want. Write out an intention letter, so you have a clear idea of what to visualize. When we have a clear idea of what we want, we’re more likely to get it, and rituals such as sex magic help us do this.

Both Neumann and Dorsky agree that “intention” is the most important part of sex magic. “The biggest misconception is that you have to be this all-powerful witch to “do it right.” It’s more about mindfulness, consent (with a partner or yourself), and intention,” Neumann says.

Dorsky explains that when you’re having sex without intention you’re just on “autopilot,” while your energy is “like a laser” when you focus on intention. “You should be as specific and emotionally connected to your desire as possible. The goal is to feel the result in your body before it materializes, using your arousal as fuel for manifestation. It's the emotional charge that changes the matter around you to reflect what you want to create,” she says.

11. Action requires follow-through.

If you believe in magic, casting spells with sex magic will transmit your intentions to the universe, and deities, which will listen and help make your wishes come true. However, the most potent ingredient in magic is you. Rituals, such as sex magic, can help put you in touch with your desires, and therefore become more aware of them. This is often enough to encourage follow-through, but any spell requires action on your part. So after you’ve written an intention letter describing your ideal partner, and then orgasmed visualizing them, don’t forget to open your phone and start swiping, witch!

Dorsky says that sex magic is a powerful tool, but you still have to act to make things happen. “It’s about reclaiming your energy, rewriting old stories about shame or pleasure, and aligning your body and soul. It isn’t about controlling others—it’s about co-creating your life with intention, joy, and reverence.”

Experts cited:

Stefanie Neumann, a sex educator and toy expert for Jack and Jill Adult.

Maggie Dorsky, an author at Hatchette Book Group, who writes about African American issues and spirituality