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14 Stages of Building Ikea Furniture With Your Girlfriend

14 Stages of Building Ikea Furniture With Your Girlfriend

14 Stages of Building Ikea Furniture With Your Girlfriend

Seriously - are these directions even English? No, they're not.

Buying and building Ikea furniture is a necessary evil in nearly every relationship. Buckle up your tool belt ladies!

 

1. Identify the need. 

After months of clothes pillaging the ground you walk on, you and your girlfriend have finally decided it's time to take the next step in your relationship and buy and build an Ikea shelf together.

 

2. Measure your space at home.

Words of wisdom: measure twice, buy once. 

 

3. Brave the closest Ikea. 

This may seem like the simple step but, with everything basically in Swedish who knows the difference between Oppland and Malm?!

 

4.  Give in to a sudden, undeniable, craving for Swedish meatballs. 

Obviously you are in the homeland of the ever delicious Swedish meatballs and no trip to Ikea is complete without them.

 

5. Wrestle with the 200-pound box of shelving to get it into your hatchback. 

This is why we bought the Subaru! Why is it failing us now?!

 

6. "PIVOT" to get the box up the narrow stairway to your apartment. 

Why do we live on the 3rd floor? This seems to be the wrong life choice.

 

7. Decipher the directions. 

Coincidentally, it is also time to figure out what all these tiny diagrams mean. 

 

 

8. Fight over the tool belt.

No one comes between me and my tool belt!

 

9. Give in to ultimate frustration. 

NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE. 

 

10. Pause for an episode of Pretty Little Liars.

The mystery of A can't possibly top the mystery of where all the nails have gone?!

 

11. Contemplate couples therapy. 

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12. Pour a drink.

Drinking will magically make all these pieces and nails just come together - right???

 

 

13. Recommit to building this mother f*&%ing thing! 

There are only a few more cryptic diagrams in this pamphlet to finish.

 

14. Admire the finished product!

Of course, we have to take the cats out of the drawers first! But, we did it!

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Bianca Rosen Siegel