7 Reasons to Always Message First on Tinder

7 Reasons to Always Message First on Tinder

LGBTQ folks, by nature, are strong, charismatic, and resilient people. (Duh!) But despite our magical abilities, we can be shy sometimes. So when we match with a romantic or sexual interest on Tinder, some of us may be hesitant to make the first move. But from displaying confidence to sheer effectiveness, there are a ton of benefits when it comes to messaging someone first. Take it from someone who used to wait, but now makes the first move!

So what are you waiting for?! Here are seven reasons to always message first on Tinder!

1. Confidence is hot

Confidence is so hot. It's different from being cocky, but the ability to back it up gives confident queers such a je ne sais quoi. And messaging first on Tinder definitely demonstrates confidence. Going first can be scary for everyone, but if you go ahead and own that task, you're already presenting yourself as a confident partner who is capable of engaging conversation! (You know, as long as your first message is more substantial than a "hey...")   

2. It’s good manners

Making the first move can be good manners. Speaking as a submissive and a femme, I do appreciate it when someone makes the first move. However, I have adapted this power and now use it on others. Messaging first with good manners works especially well on anyone who also dates straight dudes (as they have truly set the bar at an all-time low). 

3. You’re busy

Many of us are very fabulous and have a ton of great obligations that keep us busy. There's work and ambition to attend to, friendships to maintain, pets to be cared for, and gym sessions to be met. Finding time to go on a date is hard enough, why waste even more of your valuable time by waiting around for your matches to make the first move? 

4. You’re horny

Yes, many of us are seeking long-term or intimate partnerships, but let's all be 100% honest for a sec: we use dating apps because we're horny. We want to get laid. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, and messaging first simply expedites the process of getting laid!

5. Screw outdated patriarchal customs

Speaking as a queer woman who was brought up to be more passive than I would have liked, messaging someone first reminds me that I am not restrained by outdated notions, such as that a woman should wait to be approached. I know we're all queer here, and forgive my use of the gender binary, but perhaps others have also felt that they're supposed to take a back seat in their dating life, waiting for someone else to come along and make a move. You can be the move. You are the move! 

6. What’s the worst that could happen?

The squeaky wheel gets the oil. If you don't message, nothing happens. They may ask you out, or they could fall into that old stockpile of Tinder matches simply taking up space on their phone. The worst thing that happens by messaging first, and initiating a date, is that someone doesn't answer or says no. You can handle rejection! You're strong and aware enough!

7. It works

More often than not (and when delivered with integrity), people respond well to being asked out! You just have to ask for what you want in order to get it. So go get laid, fall in love, or enjoy some casual sexting by messaging your Tinder matches first!!