• Log in
    Brand Logo
    #Celebs#Geek#TV#Movies#Music#ComingOut#Love&Sex#FirstPerson#Activism#Video
    ADVOCATEOUTOUT TRAVELERPLUS
    SubscribeSubscriber ServicesEmail Newsletter Signup
    CONTACTCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
    © 2023 Pride Publishing Inc.
    All Rights reserved
    OUTOUT
    Scroll To Top

    By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.

    Accept

    9 Things You Should NEVER Say to Queer Interracial Couples

    Rachel Charlene Lewis
    | 04/14/19

    9 Things You Should NEVER Say to Queer Interracial Couples

    Who even thought these things were a good idea??!

    Shutterstock

    With the legalization of gay marriage nationwide in 2015, and the 1967 U.S. Supreme Court decision Loving v. Virginia that legalized interracial marriage across the country, one would imagine that we’d live in a country where queer interracial couples aren’t just tolerated, but are accepted. Unfortunately, as many of us know, this isn’t always how things work. Just because something isn’t illegal doesn’t mean everyone is pumped about it, and I can tell you from experience that some people are funky about queer, interracial couples.

    In the super-whitewashed world that is mainstream gay culture, you rarely see interracial couples presented as totally normal. Plus, plenty of queer people are anti-homophobia but lowkey (or sometimes extremely and obviously) racist. They can understand marginalization in terms of sexuality, but can’t necessarily connect when it comes to race.

    This disconnect can make it really frustrating to be a queer person in an interracial relationship because people are so nosy and love to ask bizarre questions. Here’s everything you shouldn’t ask when you’re hanging with an interracial, queer couple.

    1. "How politically correct."

    9 Real Differences Between Drag and Drag Race Fans

    People seem to be under the idea that people not only choose their identities, but choose their relationships in an attempt to prove their political beliefs. While I’m sure there are people out there who just want to prove a point, I imagine these numbers are pretty darn low considering how much work it is to date someone. Why do it for any reason other than actual, legitimate romantic interest?

    2. "I *love* mixed babies!"

    9 Real Differences Between Drag and Drag Race Fans

    Ugh, ugh, ugh. Can we just, like, stop acting like this is an okay thing to say? The total exotification of mixed kids is really gross and dehumanizing, and also you should know by now that mixed babies don’t all look the same. No one is dating so you’ll like their babies.

    3. "What did your parents think?"

    Shutterstock

    This one is baffling unless we’re really, really close. Unless it comes from legitimate concern, it seems like you’re just fishing for drama. Ideally, most parents don’t care that their kids are in an interracial relationship any more than they care that their kid is queer. If my parents were horrified, why would I want to rehash it?

    4. "Oooooh, forbidden! Sexy."

    9 Real Differences Between Drag and Drag Race Fans

    Painting interracial, queer relationships as scandalous and sexy is totally unfair. It’s just a relationship, and I’d be much happier (and, like, safer) if people just viewed it as that, instead of a spectacle.

    5. "Clearly you think you’re too good for your own race."

    9 Different Relationship Formats

    This is probably my least favorite comment. Remember when I said (normal) people don’t date each other for political gain? This is a part of that. When you fall for someone, you fall for someone. While I’m not going to act like internalized racism isn’t a thing, it’s not fair to delegitimize a relationship just because it doesn’t work with your political agenda.

    6. "Isn’t it a bit much? Being in a queer AND interracial relationship?"

    10 Dating Tips for Gay Introverts

    Yeah, sometimes it is. It sucks to wonder if people are giving you weird looks because you’re a queer couple, or because you’re an interracial one. But I’m not going to give up my own happiness to make random people more comfortable.

    7. "Won’t it be so hard for your kids?"

    What to Do If You're Not Kink-Compatible

    When I was younger, this was the sort of argument people used to guilt my parents for having a mixed kid. Now that I’m queer, this is the type of scare-tactic people use to prevent you from “poisoning” the world with more babies raised by “sinners.” I’m sure my kids will have to deal with bullshit from people who are nosy, rude, and just plain terrible people. But I’m also sure that I’m doing everything I can to stay educated, and to fight for the kids who exist now to make sure they can have great lives no matter who their parents are.

    Plus, people who ask this question rarely give a damn about your kids. They just want to police your actions, which is gross and manipulative.

    8. "Do you know *insert other interracial couple here*?"

    Shutterstock

    You know how not every gay person knows each other? Not all queer, interracial couples know each other, either (though I’d love to know more couples like mine!).

    9. "I’ve always wanted to date a person of color, but I haven’t."

    Shutterstock

    Well, why? What is it about queer people of color that you find so unappealing? And, besides, if your subtle racism and microaggressions are anything to go by, I doubt any queer person of color would be interested. 

    Latest Stories

    Jordan Firstman
    Celebrities
    Badge
    gallery

    25 Steamy Pics of Viral Comedian & Actor Jordan Firstman

    September 22 2023 3:33 PM
    Dove Cameron, Cardi B, Kit Connor
    Bisexual
    Badge
    gallery

    10 Bisexual Celebrities You Have To Follow On Instagram & TikTok

    September 22 2023 12:00 PM
    10 Albums & EPs Released By Drag Queens In 2023 (So Far)
    Music
    Badge
    gallery

    10 Albums & EPs Released By Drag Queens In 2023 (So Far)

    September 22 2023 11:22 AM
    Kylie, Doja, Slayyyter & More Bless The Gays On New Music Friday
    Music
    Badge
    gallery

    Kylie, Doja, Slayyyter & More Bless The Gays On New Music Friday

    September 22 2023 11:01 AM
    Ongina; Katya; LaLa Ri
    DragQueens
    Badge
    gallery

    'RuPaul's Drag Race' Queens Eliminated After Winning A Challenge

    September 21 2023 4:46 PM
    Alyson Stoner, Jojo Siwa, Garrett Clayton
    Celebrities
    Badge
    gallery

    9 LGBTQ+ Stars You Didn't Know Got Their Start on Nickelodeon

    September 21 2023 4:22 PM
    UPDATED: 92 LGBTQ+ Movies We Can’t Wait To See In 2023
    Movies
    Badge
    gallery

    UPDATED: 87 LGBTQ+ Movies We Can’t Wait To See In 2023

    September 21 2023 4:19 PM
    20 Steamy Pics of Figure Skater Wesley Campbell That'll Make Ice Melt
    Celebrities
    Badge
    gallery

    20 Steamy Pics of Figure Skater Wesley Campbell That'll Make Ice Melt

    September 21 2023 4:07 PM
    Warrior Nun, Everything Sucks!, The Haunting of Bly Manor, First Kill
    Entertainment
    Badge
    gallery

    30 Of The Best Lesbian Films & TV Shows You Can Watch On Netflix Now

    September 21 2023 3:39 PM
    Drag Race Trades
    Celebrities
    Badge
    gallery

    20 Best 'Trades Of The Season' In The 'RuPaul's Drag Race' Franchise

    September 21 2023 1:43 PM
    The 13 Best & Most Empowering Things About Being Bisexual
    Identities
    Badge
    gallery

    The 13 Best & Most Empowering Things About Being Bisexual

    September 21 2023 9:13 AM
    Mathew Scott Montgomery, Raven-Symoné and Haley Kiyoko
    Celebrities
    Badge
    gallery

    22 Former Disney Stars Who Have Come Out As LGBTQ+

    September 20 2023 5:09 PM
    La Cruz
    Celebrities
    Badge
    gallery

    15 Steamy Pics Of Out Gay Reggaeton Star La Cruz

    September 20 2023 3:27 PM
    15 Things Every Grindr Host Should Have Ready to Go
    Sex
    Badge
    gallery

    15 Things Every Grindr Host Should Have Ready to Go

    September 20 2023 11:30 AM
    27 TV Shows With Bisexual Guy Characters
    TV
    Badge
    gallery

    27 TV Shows With Bisexual Guy Characters

    September 20 2023 10:38 AM
    Mexican men on Instagram
    Men
    Badge
    gallery

    15 Mexican Hunks You Need To Follow On Instagram

    September 19 2023 5:06 PM
    Bob the Drag Queen and Monet X Change; Trixie Mattel and Katya; Kim Chi and Naomi Smalls
    DragQueens
    Badge
    gallery

    Fan-Casting An All-BFFs Season of 'RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars'

    September 19 2023 3:45 PM
    10 Signs That You Might Be Bisexual
    Bisexual
    Badge
    gallery

    10 Signs That You Might Be Bisexual

    September 19 2023 12:35 PM
    Books with bisexual characters
    Books
    Badge
    gallery

    5 Bi Authors & 5 Books Featuring Bi Characters That You Should Read

    September 19 2023 12:00 PM
    bisexual anthems
    Music
    Badge
    gallery

    30 Pop Anthems About Bisexuality

    September 19 2023 9:10 AM

    Trending Stories

    Jann Wenner's Legacy: Janis Joplin Lamented Rolling Stone Story Days Before Death

    George R. R. Martin and Other Famous Authors Join Lawsuit Against OpenAI

    Life is Beautiful Celebrates 10 Years By Announcing LGBTQ+ Parties

    Sarah Ann Masse Opens Up About Coming Out as Bisexual, Accepting Herself, Curls and All

    Jonathan Bailey & Matt Bomer's Spicy 'Fellow Travelers' Scenes Followed These 2 Rules

    Pete Buttigieg Explains the Difference Between Climate Change and Seasons to Republican Lawmaker

    Country Star Adam Mac Bows Out of Kentucky Festival After Homophobic Treatment

    6 Great American Road Trips Perfect for Fall Colors

    Adam Mac Responds to Fan Love & Support After Festival Cancelation

    This HIV Ally Is Spicing Up Sexual Health

    Este Aliado del VIH Está Condimentando la Salud Sexual

    Meet Two Amazing Activists Speaking Up About Black Women and HIV

    Beyoncé Rights Airline's Wrong, Helps Disabled Fan Attend the Renaissance World Tour

    Sarah Ann Masse Comes Out as Bisexual in Heartfelt Essay

    Check Out These Delicious Dishes At Galpão Gaucho Brazilian Steakhouse

    Ghana's Newest Anti-LGBTQ+ Law Sparks Protests

    Arrests Follow HIV Funding Protest at Speaker McCarthy's Office

    Alabama Band Director Tased by Police at Football Game Speaks Out

    Slayyyter Is Ready to Elevate

    Republican Infighting Pushes Government Towards Shutdown

    30th Annual Long Beach Qfilms Festival Features ‘Big Boys’ This Weekend

    Las Vegas Brings The Fright With Provocative New Show 'Abandon'

    9 Celebrities Who Came Out As Bisexual in 2023

    Tropical Storm Ophelia Closes In on the East Coast

    Missouri Transgender Girl Wins Homecoming Queen and the Right Loses It

    Most Recent

    HIV Warrior Ronnie Grace Battling Stage 4 Cancer

    Dr. Randa Jaafar on Her New Practice & Helping Women Feel Their Best

    Stewart Taylor Releases New Breakup Anthem "Favorite Ex"

    Lisa Rinna Does PTown

    Republican Infighting Pushes Government Towards Shutdown

    Virginia Beach Parents Sue to Force Schools to Adopt Glenn Youngkin's Anti-Trans Policies

    How to Honor Senior Survivors of HIV

    Will Lachlan Murdoch Bring a New Era to Fox News or the Same Hell?

    George W. Bush Calls Out Republicans Trying to End HIV Program PEPFAR

    35 Bisexual Politicians You Should Know

    Travis Scott Investigated For Assault and $12,000 in Property Damage

    SF Leather Week Opens with Inauguration of World’s First Leather and Queer History Public Space

    Provincetown Brewing Co. Presents Annual Jockstrap Bike Ride: 'Letting Loose for Townie Summer Kickoff!'

    They Live in the US, but These LGBTQ+ Couples Can’t Get Married. Here's Why

    'Loki' Season 2 Trailer Delivers Great Loki/Mobius Shipper Content

    New 'Drag Race' Host Is a Legendary Activist Living With HIV

    Alabama Band Director Tased by Police at Football Game Speaks Out

    George R. R. Martin and Other Famous Authors Join Lawsuit Against OpenAI

    Grace Van Dien, Stranger Things Actor, Says She's Turning Down Roles Over Sexual Harassment

    DACA Immigration Policy Ruled Unlawful, But Allowed to Continue

    Get Ready for Provincetown’s Third-Annual Washashore Festival Featuring a Rising Tide of Queer Musical Talent

    19 Sizzling Photos from Folsom Street Fair 2022 by Gooch

    Tropical Storm Ophelia Closes In on the East Coast

    Canada Has Some of the Highest Mpox Rates in the World

    Recommended Stories for You

    HIV Warrior Ronnie Grace Battling Stage 4 Cancer

    Dr. Randa Jaafar on Her New Practice & Helping Women Feel Their Best

    Stewart Taylor Releases New Breakup Anthem "Favorite Ex"

    Lisa Rinna Does PTown

    Republican Infighting Pushes Government Towards Shutdown

    Virginia Beach Parents Sue to Force Schools to Adopt Glenn Youngkin's Anti-Trans Policies

    How to Honor Senior Survivors of HIV

    Will Lachlan Murdoch Bring a New Era to Fox News or the Same Hell?

    George W. Bush Calls Out Republicans Trying to End HIV Program PEPFAR

    35 Bisexual Politicians You Should Know

    Travis Scott Investigated For Assault and $12,000 in Property Damage

    SF Leather Week Opens with Inauguration of World’s First Leather and Queer History Public Space

    Provincetown Brewing Co. Presents Annual Jockstrap Bike Ride: 'Letting Loose for Townie Summer Kickoff!'

    They Live in the US, but These LGBTQ+ Couples Can’t Get Married. Here's Why

    'Loki' Season 2 Trailer Delivers Great Loki/Mobius Shipper Content

    New 'Drag Race' Host Is a Legendary Activist Living With HIV

    Alabama Band Director Tased by Police at Football Game Speaks Out

    George R. R. Martin and Other Famous Authors Join Lawsuit Against OpenAI

    Grace Van Dien, Stranger Things Actor, Says She's Turning Down Roles Over Sexual Harassment

    DACA Immigration Policy Ruled Unlawful, But Allowed to Continue

    Get Ready for Provincetown’s Third-Annual Washashore Festival Featuring a Rising Tide of Queer Musical Talent

    19 Sizzling Photos from Folsom Street Fair 2022 by Gooch

    Tropical Storm Ophelia Closes In on the East Coast

    Canada Has Some of the Highest Mpox Rates in the World