When reality TV star Krisily Kennedy came out as bisexual in Life & Style magazine, the enthusiastic and supportive cheers from bi chicks like me were swiftly drowned out by the sound of a million male zippers.
Kennedy was open and earnest in the article and did her best to keep the focus on the legitimacy of her sexual orientation. But I have a feeling most straight guys never got deep enough to actually read quotes like: "I just want love. I want long-term and I want commitment. I really want those things and if people open their hearts to it, you can find that with anyone." In fact, I doubt they got past the sexy bikini photo strategically positioned directly under the word BISEXUAL.
Because after all, aren’t we all just porno fantasy girls who exist solely to put on shows for straight men and/or provide two thirds of a threesome?
Unfortunately, it’s not just straight guys who don’t get it. Nobody seems to take bi women seriously. Many straight women think it’s just an act designed to trick their boyfriend into a threesome so we can steal him for ourselves. Some lesbians think we’re confused and in denial about what we really want while others treat us like tourists taking a sexy vacation before going home to the white-picket-fence world of heterosexual privilege where we belong. Whether they like us or not, almost everyone dismisses bi women as indecisive sluts.
Sorry boys, our sexuality isn’t a performance for your benefit. Sorry girls, we aren’t going to wise up and give up dick just because it makes you uncomfortable. It’s not about either one of you, it’s about us. Period.
We’re bisexual even when we aren’t in bed. We’re bisexual when we’re alone. It’s who we are, inside and out. Because we were born this way, just like you. We exist, even when you aren’t watching. We exist with or without your approval. And as more high-profile bi women like Krisily Kennedy stand up and come out, we are getting harder and harder to ignore.
Being queer is not a choice, so why ask us to choose only one half of who we are? Bottom line, we’re never going to shut up and pick sides. But trust me, this is a good thing. Because we aren’t just sluts, we’re diplomats. We’re common ground, a bridge between the men and women that we love. So stop treating us like silly little bimbos who don’t know what’s best for us and start treating us like equals. Stand up for us, and we’ll do the same for you.
Christa Faust is the author of several novels, including Choke Hold and Money Shot, and is known as “The First Lady of Hard Case Crime.” Her new lesbian pulp series, Butch Fatale, debuts February 2012 with Double D Double Cross. Visit her website, become a fan on Facebook and follow her on Twitter.
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