Note to the world: maybe steer clear of giving Bollywood megastar Bipasha Basu diamonds, especially if you're a lesbian. In a previous interview with a leading publication that's coming to light today, Bipasha revealed some pretty intense feelings on an encounter with a lesbian fan:
"For Valentine’s Day, one lesbian had bought me a Diamond necklace. She was in love with me. I freaked out. I was so scared, I started crying. I was really young. Even now in parties, when I notice people coming towards me and dancing strangely, I just push them and run away. I am still petrified."
Now, we're all having a bit of trouble figuring out if it's lesbians Bipasa is frightened of or just super enthusiastic fans with jewelry, but with the headline of the article being "I Am Petrified Of Lesbians," we're pretty sure we know what's going on here. It also raises the question of "why was the headline something that was minimally mentioned in the piece?" but we'll let that slide for now. The point is, Bipasha's reaction to lesbians is being rightfully perceived as deeply dramatic. But is it? Maybe there are plenty of reasons to be petrified of lesbians? Here is just a small sample of the scariest things about us she could fear...
10. Arts and Crafts
Lesbians can be pretty crafty, meaning we have the power to make some pretty terrifying Halloween costumes. Consider yourself having lesbian nightmares for years.
9. Failed promises
If you live with a lesbian, she might say she'll do her dishes, but then they end up just sitting in the sink for a long time and you have NO idea when she'll actually get them done. You might even have to do them yourself. Terrifying
8. The cats
Lesbians are often known for loving cats, which many people are allergic to. You may have an allergic reaction should you be invited over to a lesbian's house, and that might scar you for life.
7. Tegan and Sara, The Indigo Girls, Showtunes, and more...
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If you're on a road trip with a lesbian and realize early on they have vastly different taste in music than you but you agreed you'd spend some time trading off iPods, you may find yourself terrified about what you'll be listening to for a portion of the drive. Unimaginable.
6. Sharks
Perhaps a lesbian suggests you and some mutual friends go to the beach. There might be sharks at the beach. Basically your lesbian friend is trying to get you eaten by sharks. The fear is valid.
5. The dentist
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Some peope are scared of dentists. Some lesbians are dentists. This is not a joke, people.
4. Food theft
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Maybe you brought some delicious leftovers to eat for lunch at work. Maybe you forgot to label them. Maybe your lesbian co-worker ate them without even bothering to see whose they were. Can you ever trust again?
3. Spoken word poems
Some lesbians write slam poetry, which is not an art appreciated by all. Perhaps your lesbian friend always wants to try out her new pieces on you before the open mic, and you just can't take it anymore. Don't be polite. Flee.
2. Fresh vegetables
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Say your lesbian neighbor has a homegrown vegetable garden in her backyard. She invites you to come over for a nice dinner she made from it. You don't know what she used on that garden. There could be pesticides. There could be bugs. There could be E coli. Consider changing residences entirely.
1. The power bill.
Remember that lesbian room mate? She left the air conditioner on all night and last month's electric bill was already ASTRONOMICAL. Is nothing sacred?
