Occasionally we all get caught up in the stereotypical "dyke drama" that comes with lady lovin' and need a reminder why we really are far superior to men. As much as I kind of hold a weird grudge against Cosmo for making bank on flooding women's minds with how to change themselves for men, and providing women with countless ways to please their man, make him love them more or whatever the topic of the month is, once in a blue moon, there is a snippet of something potentially inspiring.
So here it is ladies, scientific reasons why we are just plain superior. I even included a little bonus for you at the end (courtesy of Cosmo, but with some added commentary) just incase the first ten reasons aren't awesome enough.
We are naturally hotter. Survival of the fittest? Nope! Hottest!
Thanks to evolution, women are quite literally getting progressively better looking, while men are stuck staying the same. Through observing 2,000 people over 40 years, a recent study showed attractive women have 16 percent more kids than average-looking ladies, and that beautiful people are 36 percent more likely to have a girl as their firstborn. Do the math -- all those gorgeous girls mean a greater number of stunning women than that of prior generations.
We are more likely to survive a car accident.
Unfortunately for men, its true. They are 77 percent more likely to lose their life in a car wreck than women, according to a study done by Carnegie Mellon University. Buckle up!
We talk things out, and thus find comfort.
A Mind survey of 2,000 people showed men are far less likely to talk through their problems than women. Only 29 percent of men chat with friends about what's bugging them, whereas 53 pecent of women hit up their friends to talk things out.
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We are stronger against recession.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 80 percent of people who lost jobs since December 2007 are male. Yikes, sucks for them. Could be a sign its time more men got into fields like education and nursing.
We graduate college more often.
Its nothing new that female enrollment is greater than male. However, the Department of Education's statistics show that men are also far less likely to graduate than women. When they do graduate with a bachelor's degree, they are more likely to take more than five years to complete their chosen degree. Way to go, ladies!
We eat better.
Get your mind out of the gutter, or your head up from... Well, you know. We are healthier eaters. A University of Minnesota survey of more than 14,000 people showed that women's food choices are far healthier than men. Despite all the crap we get about addictions to chocolate, women actually load up on fruits and veggies while men gnaw on frozen pizza and red meat.
Our immune systems are stronger.
Women actually do have stronger immune systems than men! Our secret weapon? Estrogen. That's what gives us the ability to one-up men when it comes to fighting infections, according to a study done by McGill University. It's because estrogen confronts a specific enzyme that frequently hinders the body's initial line of defense against viruses and bacteria.
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We live longer.
Of all the people in the world who have survived at least a century, a shocking 85% are women, according to the New England Centenarian Study. Not only that, but overall, a woman's life expectancy is five to 10 years longer than men. Cheers to that!
We are better managers, especially in this economic climate.
Cosmo admits that is one is a little on the controversial side, but reassures that a scads of experts stand confident in saying that "women make greater bosses because they are better listeners, mentors, problem solvers, and multitaskers than their male counterparts." In a recent Daily News article, management expert Jay Forte said, "It's a very service-oriented economy [right now], so you need employees to be motivated. Women are better connectors than men and more astute about knowing how to activate passion in their employees." I would go so far as to say we are more astute about knowing how to activate passion in general, but maybe thats just me.
We invest better.
A study of 100,000 portfoliosshowed that women's investment returns outperform those of men, 18 percent to 11 percent. Women are loyal, and think more for the longer term. Women are also generally more cautious with investment decisions. Seems like that would be a logical thing to be when investing, no?
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Just for fun I thought I would include this list of things women can do that men can't. It was posted on Cosmo as their response to the Askmen.com list "Top 10: Things Only Men Can Do."
1. Get pregnant: Sure, guys contribute but they’ll never get as close (literally!) as we get to our own babies.
2. Fake it: Cue the famous scene from When Harry Met Sally. Enough said.
3. Ask for directions: We have no problem pulling over and asking for help. Consulting the GPS doesn't count either, boys.
- All I have to say, is that it helps to know how to work the GPS if it is going to replace asking a local for a hand.
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4. Look sexy while sipping fruity cocktails: What guy do you know can look hot with a pink drink in his hand? Oh, and by the way, we look damn good drinking beer too.
- Since this is from Cosmo, no straight men I know look good drinking fruity cocktails, but even the sexiest supermodels I can think of don't have any of my gay boys beat. Just take a drive down Santa Monica Blvd in West Hollywood and you will agree.
5. Live longer: It’s a fact, women live five to ten years longer than men. Plenty of time to take a few more vacations, have a few more orgasms and maybe hook another hubby.
- Another good thing about lovin' ladies: don't have to worry about hooking another.
6. Have multiple orgasms: No need for us to wait and, um, reload.
- No arguments to this!
7. Multitask: We can talk to our BFF on the phone, while watching America’s Next Top Model and doing lunges. No sweat.
8. Get a new last name: Or just drop it all together, à la Fergie and Madonna.
9. Wear skirts: They keep us sooo much cooler in the summer than men’s shorts. Plus, a hot mini is sure to score us a few free drinks at the bar.
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10. Get out of a speeding ticket: A little smile and a “Sorry, officer” is all it takes to get off scot-free.
11. Become a cougar, not a dirty old man: Sure, the idea of an older man sounds hot, but the reality is often a skeezy shmuck. Cougars, however, are fierce. Like: Demi Moore.
- Feel free to visit my list of Cougar Crushes for additional proof. Rawr!
12. Wing it on the dance floor...convincingly: Guys will be so busy checking out your shaking booty, they won’t even notice you’re not a great dancer.
- Who says I am not a great dancer?
13. Wear high-heels: They add four inches to our height and make our legs look fab. Hey guys, what do your ratty old sneakers do for your physique?
14. Flirt with the bouncer: We bat our eyes at the doorman and get in the door with no cover charge. If a guy were to try it, we’re thinking he might get kicked out of line.
- Not in WeHo, they wouldn't. Sadly though, a chick probably would be given the boot.
15. Blame it on PMS: Just say the words "cramp," "tampon" or “period” and men instantly let you have your way.
- I am still laughing at the geniuses (no pun intended) over at Apple for naming their tablet the iPad.
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16. Grow out our hair: We miss a haircut appointment and our hair just looks longer and sexier. Guys miss theirs and they start looking like they’re homeless.
17. Cover up a zit: Both men and women are prone to blemishes, but one of the sexes has a multitude of concealers and creams at their disposal to cover them up.
- Half the guys I work with keep concealer in their pen holders on their desk. To be honest, I don't even think I own concealer (and if I ever needed it, I can just reach over to the desk next to mine).
18. Get aroused without the entire room knowing it: We don’t have to cross our legs or grab the nearest textbook whenever we get turned on in public.
- I think Cosmo reverted back to 5th grade sex-ed on this one. Somehow, I know that a good percentage of you reading this are still at least cracking a smile. Its ok. Think back to Will & Grace and how Jack, Will, Grace and Karen never managed to keep a straight face whenever someone said ball or balls.
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19. Wear a thong: They make our ass look great and are a surefire way to turn on a guy. If a dude tried donning one, well, it would just look gross!
- First, not everyones ass looks great in a thong. Most of the women I know actually think boy-undies, cheekies or hipsters are much sexier and more flattering. Second, many a dude has tried donning a thong, and not looked anything close to gross. Once again, the gay boys know how to rock it.
20. Get a manicure: Hanging at the nail salon is just a normal day for a woman. But a guy getting a mani/pedi is bound to get weird looks.
- Pretty sure its been more than a few years since I got either a mani or a pedi, but there definitely was a man in the salon getting his done too. There are actually multiple websites dedicated to MANicures, and how normal it is for a man to go to a nail salon.
21. Make a longer list of our talents. The Askmen list was pretty short with only ten measly items on it. Oh, well. Looks like we win again!
- Maybe this list was on CosmoGirl, not Cosmo? I guess the battle of the sexes never ends...
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