Welcome back to SheWired's exclusive series 'Out on Campus,' brought to you by SheWired Associate Shannon Connolly and Senior Editor Tracy E. Gilchrist. We are busy combing college campuses across the nation -- or even around the world -- to bring readers a varied perspective on coming out or being out at college.
Enjoy, and if you'd like to be a part of our series please email me at [email protected].
As a high-school senior trying to decide which college to attend I hedged between two schools, Colby and Colgate. At Colgate, I would be closer to home and I had several friends who were also planning to attend. Colby was substantially farther away, and I didn’t know anyone attending. I did the requisite tour of both campuses and at the end of my trip there was little doubt which school I wanted to end up at. All I remember of my tour of Colgate was sleeping in an unpleasant basement dorm room and attending an admittedly awesome class on Eliade.
At Colby, I wandered around, discovering a dining hall that specializes in vegetarian and vegan food, a beautiful academic quad with students lounging about -- reading books while barefoot -- and a gay straight alliance called the Bridge, where the door of the office was covered with posters reading “Fight heterosexism with homoeroticism” and advertisements for Queer tea on Sundays. Ok, my reasoning may not have been the best (academics aren’t that important, right?), but clearly this was the school for me. Now it’s four years later, and I have a chance to look back at the LGBT scene at Colby.
I’ll admit right now that there are some things that I can’t really relate first hand: I’ve been out since I was 16, so I don’t have the experience of coming out in college and I also am completely lacking any semblance of gaydar, so unless girls are wearing their pride on their sleeve or have told me personally, I’m usually in the dark –yeah, it sucks and makes dating really difficult. I’ve been out my entire time at Colby and have had a range of experiences here.
The majority of the student population is split between the upper-middle-class to upper-class students, who are generally preppy and conservative, and the laid back, hippie, return-to-nature students who are varying degrees of liberal, though all are certainly liberal enough to make more conservative parents twitch. (Yes, Grandma, I’m going to a liberal school.)
Although freshman year I was stuck with a homophobic roommate, my general experience being out at Colby has been incredibly positive. I have even felt welcomed by my school’s Christian Fellowship, a group that, when encountered in other places, often makes me retreat. I even remember acting opposite a fellow student -- who is now a minister -- in a play called On the Edge, about lesbian issues and having a fantastic time -- an experience we continued to share and laugh about until he graduated.
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If you’re a student coming out, or even for those already out, the Bridge has a room full of resources that is open to students and provides office hours with club members on a semi-regular basis. I remember as a freshman going in and reading the autobiography “Love, Ellen.” I later purchased a copy for my mom because I was so moved.
I’ve had a number of friends come out to me in my time at Colby -- three in the past two weeks!! -- and none of them have expressed concern about being judged or feeling judged by the community. Though the club has been undergoing growing pains this year -- Pride Week had a number of students tabling for LGBT awareness and recruiting allies (rainbow Ally buttons have been ubiquitous since then), a club dance with a large turnout, and even made the New York Times for its effort to rally students to speak in favor of gay marriage at a marriage hearing in Augusta. The club also works with a variety of other on campus clubs, including SOBHU (Students Organized for Black and Hispanic Unity), the Environmental Coalition, and SOAR (Students Organized Against Racism), amongst others. I’m only slightly bitter that I missed Margaret Cho’s apperance at Colby, co-sponsered by the Bridge a year before I arrived.
One feature I also love about Colby is the number of queer professors. For a tiny school in Maine, I’m pretty impressed that half of the faculty of my department is gay --and I’m not a women’s studies major either. The faculty members are great to talk to and share experiences with about LGBT life. Colby is also home to Jenny Boylan, renowned author of She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders. Through Jenny Boylan’s efforts and the work of an on campus trans student, trans issues at Colby have also been highlighted recently.
Like any college, dating can be a little, well, absent. Hook-up culture is pretty prevalent, but that doesn’t seem too different from other schools. At only 2,000 students, it’s a pretty small school so there is also bound to be some overlap. There are also weird anomalies: I’m pretty sure Colby has the straightest rugby team in New England, but don’t worry, there are always the Woodsmen -- a team where women wield chainsaws and axes -- filling the gap. There are also a number of more femme queers (frequently found in the art and theatre departments). In my time at Colby I’ve been involved with a few girls and dated two but never experienced any adverse reactions to public displays of affection. (Ok, I did enjoy making out with one girl I was dating in front of tour groups but the astonished reactions were invariably from parents, not Colby students. Fight heterosexism, right?)
No school is perfect and Colby certainly isn’t by any stretch of the imagination, but it is continually being improved. A devoted group of students continue to fight for LGBT rights, and those taking over next year seem to have the boundless energy needed to campaign for more safe spaces and LGBT awareness, as well as for political action on a larger scale. Even outside the Bridge, Colby can be a great haven to the queer and the queer friendly. If at Colby you encounter those who don’t necessarily “agree with your lifestyle,” don’t waste your time. There are plenty of other students who will celebrate and love you for who you are. And those allies are not in short supply. At the end of four years, I’m sure Colgate is wonderful but I definitely don’t regret choosing Colby.
