This School Banned 'Harry Potter' So Students Couldn't Summon Demons

A Catholic school is making headlines after banning the Harry Potter books for what’s honestly a pretty hilarious reason.

St. Edward Catholic Church and School in Nashville booted the popular wizard books from the school library out of fear that the curses and spells in the books would actually work.

No wait, it gets better.

“I have consulted several exorcists, both in the United States and in Rome, and they have recommended removing the books from circulation,” the pastor of the school, Father Dan Reehil, said in an email to parents.

Yes, literal exorcists essentially suggested that Harry Potter might be damning children’s souls.

“The curses and spells used in the books are actual curses and spells; which when read by a human being risk conjuring evil spirits into the presence of the person reading the text,” Reehill continued.

Pretty sure every kid who grew up in the 2000s as the books were being released could tell you from repeated personal experience that no, the spells do not work. Also, even if they were real, none of them were intended, in the fictional realm, to “conjure evil spirits.” I personally never took Latin, but I’m almost positive “Wingardium leviosa” isn’t dead language for “Lucifer, star of the morning, I summon thee.”

Despite the decision to remove the books and the reasoning behind it being met with absolute disbelief from everyone who’s heard about it (who isn’t an exorcist, that is), Rebecca Hammel, superintendent of schools for the Catholic Diocese of Nashville is standing behind the books’ ban.

“Each pastor has canonical authority to make such decisions for his parish school,” she said.

Okay, but what about the canonical authority to make the school a total joke? Still good?

Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling can certainly be accused of a lot of questionable things, from queerbaiting with her after-the-fact reveal of Dumbledore being gay the whole time, to defending Johnny Depp's casting in the prequel films after abuse allegations, to, you know, all the racist stuff, but essentially accusing her of trying to secretly persuade children to summon demons by reading her books aloud is a whole new ball game.

Ultimately though, if you’re going to ban books based on the idea that they “present magic as both good and evil, which is not true, but in fact a clever deception,” you, um, might want to check out that one that has this character named Jesus turning water into wine and raising people from the dead.