An Ode to Femme Love

An Ode to Femme Love

Queer relationships are blessed by and enjoy their own unique range of superpowers (which is definitely a list too long to fit into this text box). I won't divulge them all here (some secrets between femmes must remain within the coven), but for a tantalizing tease, read on to learn seven verses to an ode to femme-on-femme love!

1. There’s the clothing sharing

Yes, we share clothes, even if we're a different size than our partners. There's jewelry and the turning of a t-shirt into a clubbing dress and all the gay glamour fashion magick you'd imagine when a femme falls for another femme. 

2. Plus, we get to freak out straight dudes

No hate, but white cishet straight dudes are, most generally, the worst. Look at these idiots in the photo cheering for televised barbarians. They are all so dumb. They are so dumb that their dicks get hard when we walk in the same bar as them. Yes, sometimes a sighting of the drunk cishet douche nozzle straight dude will lead to an unsettling and discriminatory encounter, but sometimes you also get to bare your fucking femme vampire teeth. You can give him the look of death (you know the one) and let him know he has no place in your universe. 

3. You’re just so pretty

You're so pretty! Like, honestly, that smile...you're killing me! I can't believe it's this easy with you. You're so god-damn beautiful!!

4. We’re basically a superhero duo

Maybe it's the sheer power of two femmes, maybe it's the Empress Card meeting the High Priestess, maybe it's just love—but there is something sacred about two femmes falling in love. And despite being mistaken for platonic friends daily, when combined, you have a power that causes those who love and fear you alike to tremble when you're a femme in the presence of your fellow femme partner. 

5. Can we talk about all the healthy emotional processing?

Sometimes you have an intense day at therapy and are reminded of that phase during your life right after the sexual assault in which everyone around you gaslit you and upped your Klonopin dose and uggggh. You also don't want to be alone, but you also could talk about how that trauma from four years ago continues to change how you engage with partners? A femme can handle that shit. We live for that shit. 

6. Of course, there’s the hot sex

Femme-on-femme sex is so beautiful, right? All that lace and the smell of perfume mixed with satin andand affectionate aftercare mixed with cupcakes and a glass of champagne and even more orgasms? Oh yes, the sex is exactly as you imagined!

7. Have I mentioned beauty products?

As a bisexual queer woman, I wrestle with the demon that is an attraction (and sometimes, even relationships) with cishet straight men. One of the most annoying questions that cishet straight men ask femmes is, "So how do you go camping with that skincare routine?" 

This problem does not arise during femme for femme. You share just as many Chapsticks, night cream suggestions, glitter, and homeopathic face masks as one would imagine. Plus, should you go camping, there will be no judgment for night cream application. (Or lack thereof. Femmes are empathetic).