Shocked 41-Year-Old Seeks Reddit Advice After Falling for Another Guy

Coming out as gay or bi later in life can be a curious thing. Sometimes, it can be a matter of finally accepting feelings you know you’ve always felt but spent your life pushing aside. Other times, it can totally catch you by surprise when the right person comes into your world.

The latter seems to be the case for one reddit user, who identifies himself as a 41-year-old male who has “never outwardly been attracted to guys.”

In a series of posts, he describes meeting a random guy (who he refers to as “James”) at a bar while playing darts, and immediately hitting it off.

“My friend took off, James and I had a couple more rounds, we had quite a bit in common and it felt like I was hanging out with an old friend,” he wrote. He said the two wound up going back to James’s house and just hanging out — no pressure, but he got the idea that maybe James was trying to gauge his interest when he asked about his sexuality and if he’d ever experimented with guys.

After that night, the two kept making plans to hang out and texted all the time. And we all know if you’re texting a new person all the time there’s probably something there.

“I thought about the way I feel about him and I’ve concluded it’s the same way you feel when you meet someone who you fall in love with,” he wrote at last. “I’m torn as far as what to do, because I love this feeling and I think I’m falling in love with this guy. It feels so strange to type that out but I think it’s true.”

Reddit users were quick to share messages of encouragement, including several from users who said they had never considered themselves queer until someone of the same gender just sparked that fire inside of them.

The original poster added a follow up a few days later that really ramped things up. After a full day of hanging out, and another conversation about experimentation, OP and James were ready to call it a night.

“I went in for our hug, when I pulled back I kept my arms around his back, let him pull back until he was spaced back, he looked me right in the face and sort of smirked, and I laid it on him, I went right in and kissed him,” he wrote. “It was short, I didn’t use much tongue, but I pulled back and said ‘I guess I can say I’ve experimented now, right?’”

“AND IT WAS FIREWORKS IN MY STOMACH,” he added.

There’s more to the story, AND the saga is continuing, but we’re already in it for the long haul. And, it seems, the OP may be as well.

“Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has given me advice and been so supportive. I feel like I’m living my life for the first time at the age of 41.”