Single and Queer on Valentine's Day? Here's How to Actually Enjoy It

Valentine’s Day. The the most dreaded day of the year for singles. How come all of your friends have someone special to spend it with, but you don’t? Why does the world seem to be rubbing it in your face everywhere you look? Why is half your inbox spammed with emails about Valentine’s Day restaurant deals and sales?

Valentine’s Day can be a depressing nightmare if you’re gay and single, but it doesn’t have to be. Here’s a 4 step plan to actually enjoy Valentine’s Day if you're single and queer.

1. Don’t fall for the "one true love" trope

The first thing to do is to break some of the detrimental mentalities that society has instilled in us. The first one being that there’s that "one special, magical person" out there for you. There are 7.1 billion people on this planet. Yes, I’m aware most of them are not necessarily gay or bi, but there are still millions of eligible men/women who are interested in your gender. So I guarantee there is more than one person on this planet who is right for you. Once you fully believe that, you’re able to breathe a little bit more easily on V Day. You know that your future options aren’t as limited as you think, and if you want to, you can share your life with someone else down the road.

2. Have a romantic morning/afternoon by yourself 

Have a glass of wine (or four). Take a bubble bath. Treat yourself to a massage. Order in food from your favorite restaurant. Buy yourself chocolates. There’s no reason you need someone else to spoil you. You can treat yourself on V Day. Besides, you know better than anyone else what you like. So get all your favorite things. You do you!

3. Have a single friends dinner

That’s what I’m doing this year, and something I’ve done in years past when I’m single. Pick a special place go out to dinner with your friends, get as many as them together as possible, and have some fun. It’s nice to be surrounded by other single friends on Valentine's Day to remind yourself that you’re not alone and that being single really isn’t that bad. In fact, it can be great!

4. Remember that it’s just another day 

The toughest thing about being single is going to bed alone. I hate not having someone next to me to cuddle with. And while I’m in bed late at night, alone with my thoughts, I often miss my previous partners and lament being single, especially on days like V Day. What’s helpful for me, is remembering that Valentine’s Day is just like any other day of the week. It’s only special because you have someone special. And when you do find that special person again, you won’t need V Day to remind myself how much you love them. You can love them daily!