There are many life lessons you can learn from topping...
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Just like the lessons bottoming teaches you about life, topping can also teach you a number of life lessons, as well, especially if you're vers.
If you're not sure what topping can teach you about life, here are 10 reasons for you to consider.
1. Sometimes life is hard, sometimes it's not
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There are times in life that are challenging, other times that are not... and the same thing goes for erections. Especially as you get older, finding or maintaining an erection can be somewhat difficult to achieve. Fortunately, in the world of sex, there are plenty of ways you can help yourself out in that department, so try not to stress too hard.
2. You're not always as great as you think you are
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Yes, confidence is key, but sometimes confidence and cockiness also go hand in hand -- and not in a good way. Being a top teaches you to lower your expectations of yourself sometimes, especially when you're not hitting it as good as you think you are.
3. Don’t chase temporary pleasures
Orgasms are great—do not get me wrong—but an orgasm is a temporary pleasure. And I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve finished, only to be like, "Oh Jesus, why the hell am I here?" Look for more long-lasting pleasures, both sexual and platonic. Not the easy ones that cum come quick.
4. Sometimes you have to deal with other people's crap
During sex, it’s accidental. In life, that’s not always the case. Sometimes people will just say terrible things to you, metaphorically "crapping all over you." You can either let it negatively affect you, or you can clean yourself up and move on. I highly suggest the latter.
5. Don’t be selfish just because you can get away with it
You could easily have sex with a guy, orgasm within seconds, and then tell him to leave. That’s called being a selfish prick. (Pun intended.) If you happen to finish prematurely, still make sure the bottom has fun. Don’t kick him out immediately. You can, and should, still pleasure him and makes sure he has a great time!
6. Don’t knock something new until you’ve tried it
Like many little gay boys, when I discovered what "eating ass" was, I was completely shocked. (I was probably around 16 at the time.) I thought it sounded disgusting. How could anyone ever be turned on by that??!
Little did I realize how huge of a turn on it would become only a few years later...
7. Don’t rush! The more patient you are, the better it is
I’ll admit that there have been times when I've topped where I got so turned on, I just wanted to pump as quickly as possible and finish immediately. No. Stop! Don’t do that! Never rush sex. The more patient you are, the better your final orgasm will eventually be.
8. Your actions have consequences
If you have a lot of unprotected sex (let’s say you’re on PrEP), you will inevitably get gonorrhea or chlamydia. That’s just how it works. Your peehole will leak puss, and it’s nasty as all hell. So if you don’t want that to happen, wear condoms.
9. Sometimes, you can’t finish...
And you know what? That’s 100% okay! Often, it’s not about the final destination, but about the journey. And sometimes, it's good to not finish. In fact, sometimes it's necessary to give up on things midway through. I wouldn't say you should give up all the time, but it’s definitely important to know when to quit.
10. Sex clouds your judgement
"Do I like him, or am I just horny?" This is a question I ask myself quite often. Whenever I like a guy, my roommate tells me to please myself first and then see how I’m feeling after to make sure I still like him. It’s silly, but there's some validity to what he's saying. Sometimes being horny as all hell clouds your better judgment.
