RECAP: Lost Girl- Wedding from (Val)Hell(a)

Hi guys! Did you survive your summer without any sexy succubus shenanigans or floundered in the fae famine? Either way it's feast time so lets get into the fifth and final season of Lost Girl.

The season opens on a beautifully bronzed Bo climbing an epic canyon rock formation while singing “She'll Be Comin' 'Round the Mountain” to herself and flashing back to Kenzi's sacrifice. Extreme heights seem like an unwise location for embracing your PTSD but Bo seems to be on top of it. She digs into an eagle's nest which appears to be emitting adorable tweets despite the lack of any live birds. Much like the baby animal photo twitter accounts I spend entire days refreshing. Bo reaches through the few stray feathers and retrieves the elusive second hell shoe and let me tell you how much I've struggled with not having an outlet to use the words 'hell shoe' for all these months.

The nest of nothing is apparently angered by the loss of its unholy footwear and unleashes some very mild tremors that cause Bo to forget how to climb and plummet to the canyon floor. Some delightfully rape-y, shotgun-wielding rednecks come upon the wounded Bo and decide they'll take turns with her. Thankfully Bo can apparently now unconsciously suck chi from all three mountain men without touching them. A few well placed kicks ensure lead redneck won't be molesting any wounded warriors in the near future and Bo continues on her way as the opening credits officially welcome us to season five.

Bo arrives home to her roommate Tamsin who still possesses the lying finesse of her child-ish self. The immature Valkyrie assures Bo that she can't go to Valhalla for reasons unexplainable but lets slip that the other hell shoe is with Trick and Dyson. Bo checks in with her bearded advisors who should never be enlisted to hide anything as they hand over the shoe almost immediately so they can get back to their brooding.

After those seven long minutes we finally catch up with Dr Lauren who seems to have landed in a fancy hospital where she asks her assistant about “splenectomy Susan.” I both hope and fear that she chooses treatments based on alliteration rather than diagnostic procedures. We meet another patient who I assume she would refer to as “fire-breathing Frank” or “pyro-coughing Peter” before Lauren is distracted by her very favorite succubus. Lauren and Bo head into a dimly blue-lit room where no medical procedure could ever be safely performed. After a little banter about Bo's visions of Lauren's French singing counterpart, Bo ignores Lauren's plans for monitoring her and plunges feet-first into her hunt for Kenzi.

Bo disappears from the world's sexiest medical suite and finds herself in the Nordic hell version of Angel's Hyperion Hotel (which is about 90% nicer than the vampire detective agency version). She is mistaken for a florist by the event-planning mother-of-Valkyries Freya who quickly loses interest and instead either transports through a portal or incinerates an uninvited guest leaving only a pile of dust. It's not incredibly clear. Thankfully for Bo a bevy of freshly deceased athletic warriors offer cover for her to escape and locate a maid in a pink uniform we just know this succubus needs to make her own.

Sexy maid succubus (accessories sold separately) finds her fallen BFF feasting on chocolate. Valhalla has been kind to Kenzi with a classy makeover, all the candy she can eat and a stream of dresses to try on for the party she is apparently hosting. This is definitely my kind of hell. The only minor drawback is a creepy blue-flashing phone that rings daily and offers some groaning heavy breathing. This barely distracts the besties from their sweet, both gastronomically and emotionally, reunion. The idyllic Val-cation is interrupted by the arrival of further details on Kenzi's party – her wedding to Hale.

Meanwhile back on her couch, Tamsin's aggressive television viewing is interrupted by Lauren with questions about the underworld. Everything about Tamsin's current mental state is amazing and I would happily watch only her and Lauren sassing each other forever. Especially if they relive last season's slap. Sadly Tamsin hands over her Valkyrie diary with no action of any kind as Lauren guilt trips her about saying Bo and Kenzi are her friends but not helping with the rescue.

Lauren joins team Blood King and werewolf where Dyson does a dramatic reading of the diary. The diary itself is fairly typical - after the obligatory penis comments it segues into Bo making an army to end all worlds. It is artistically illustrated (with monsters, not penis) in the way that makes my teenage self want to write even more angsty poetry punctuated by poorly drawn stick figures. That's right, even my stick figures are poorly drawn. But my diary didn't prophesize the end of days so we'll call it even. Lauren devises a plan to use Tamsin's hair to trick the realm into thinking they're Valkyries and allowing them entrance into Valhalla.

It seems Lauren hit a nerve with Tamsin as she appears at the wedding hall having delivered Lauren's patient's soul (Dragon Dave?) for entry. Freya is not thrilled by the appearance of her erstwhile Valkyrie nor her suggestion to release Bo and Kenzi. She reminds Tamsin that she must clean up her mess with creepy blue phone guy and hands her the phone, into which Tamsin assures him that Bo will be his.

A mid-wedding prep Kenzi finds Tamsin in the lobby having returned to her bounty hunting ways. Some scowling and personal space invasion ensues and I am in absolute awe of Ksenia Solo's ability to walk backwards in stilettos. When Kenzi locks herself in her room we learn that Tamsin's film education included a little Kubrick and after The Shining moment Bo busts in for a little axe scuffle. This feels like how they would settle roommate disputes too. Bo pacifies Tamsin with her (non-sexual) succubus skills and informs her that she gets one more strike before she's taken out. I'll bet strikes one and two were using all the hot water and losing the remote control. Valkyries are the worst roommates.

Tamsin tearily explains that she doesn't want to spend this, her last life, alone. The ominous phone rings again and Tamsin informs Bo that the caller hired her to deliver the succubus and is much more powerful than they imagined.

Bo and Kenzi say their obligatory “I want the best for yous" before walking down the aisle. Bo goes ahead to investigate to ensure the groom is in fact Hale and that he is not overly decomposed. As she approaches the altar a white light shines and he disappears. Freya stops the wedding informing Kenzi that since closing the portal to hell she is now property of Bo's father. Tamsin rushes in having done some research and discovered that the wearer of the hell slippers is allowed to take one claimed soul back with her. Freya invokes Bo's un-claiming of her human last season and vanishes Bo through the portal of dust. She still decides to send Kenzi back to her body, so I guess the rescue mission was a success?

Freya's underling Stacey tells Tamsin they are down a soul and pledges to find another close to Bo's heart. The two closest to that heart, Lauren and Dyson, arrive at the gates to Valhalla where Lauren is possessed by some sort of Valkyrie announcement system informing them that Kenzi has been returned to her body. This turns out to be so much more horrifying than I imagined when we see Kenzi wake up in her coffin with barely enough room to light a match (which she apparently just had in there with her?) and whisper “help.”

Bo finds herself in a hell-evator with one button flashing blue and sets off to meet whoever it is that has been seeking her so hard. After so many fake-outs do we dare believe it will actually be her father? Had he been around when she was young could she have stopped him smoking so he would be able to breathe normally and speak to people on the phone? Most importantly, will Kenzi escape her coffin without it catching fire? Hopefully next week, and these answers, will come quickly!