Study Says There's No Such Thing as a Straight Woman

Good news, everyone! It turns out that women pretty much aren’t straight. Like ever. Science says so, or at least this one guy does. 

A study led by Dr. Gerulf Rieger of the University of Essex examined the biological responses of 345 women as they watched videos of naked men and women. The data indicate that 82% of the women in the study were aroused by both men and women.

While women who identified as lesbians (obviously) showed a strong preference for women, 74% of women who identified as straight were aroused by both men and women. We couldn't find evidence that Rieger included openly bisexual women in the study, so either that wasn't an option to check on his study, or all of the media that has reported on the study has failed to mention that out bisexual women were not included (so in effect, they were erased).  

"Even though the majority of women identify as straight,” Dr. Rieger said, “our research clearly demonstrates that when it comes to what turns them on, they are either bisexual or gay, but never straight."

Before you take this as carte blanche permission to hit on that cute straight girl you’ve had your eye on, I should point out that I looked through the lead author's previous work and found a few red flags.

Firstly, he says bisexuality doesn't exist in men at all. Combine that with the quote above and you have a scientist with a propensity to make broad (headline-grabbing) generalizations. Alarm bells should be ringing. Secondly, he wrote a book in 2003 called The Man Who Would Be Queen about gender variance that offended pretty much the entire transgender community.

Once we get a copy of the study, we'll read it all the way through and decide if we should roll out the welcome mat for our newly not-straight friends and neighbors.

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