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4 Enlightening Things We Can All Learn From Miley Cyrus' Ode to Sex with Women

Preston Max Allen

If you watched the VMAs last Sunday, you were faced with the real-time realization that Miley Cyrus had just dropped before our eyes an entire new album on Souncloud. That's right, surprise, there's a whopping 23-song, glitter-covered explosion of an album on Soundcloud right now called Miley Cyrus and Her Dead Petz. Even better, amongst those 23 tracks is an unapologetic, wildly descriptive lesbian sex anthem that Miley described to the New York Times as "pretty self-explanatory." And while the song - ever-so-subtly titled "Bang Me Box" - might be described as self-explanatory, we would like to take a moment to really detail how its lyrics might secretly better all of our lives in ways we never expected. First, listen to the song. Then, join us on this journey.


4.  A good way to show someone you love them is to leave your door open while you sleep naked. 

Forget 'I love you's' and buying a cutie chocolates and flowers. It's 2015, and the poetry of love is now "I'm always sleepin' naked cause you wake up and you creepin'." And of course, nothing says "love" like creepin'. But please remember, it's necessary to fully undestand the situation before any and all creepin' becuase, in our own lives, it's possible we're just sleepin' naked cause it's summertime and the A/C broke. Creep responsibly. 



3. Always make sure to stay on top of your zookeeper / tiger dynamic. 

As Miley says, "It's like you're a zookeeper setting animals free, you release me like a tiger that's been locked in a cage." Aside from the fact that that is one terrible zookeeper with an impending law suit, it's a great reminder that we should never lose sight of the crazy zookeepers / wild tigers within us all. It's easy for us to fall into a routine, but sometimes you've gotta remember to open that tiger cage, and sometimes you've got to be the tiger who puts the stress of life away and comes out to play. Thanks, Miley.



Tags: #Women, #Stub

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