Just as Sandra Tsing Loh exposed the unhinging of straight marriage in American society and the divorce culture in which we live today in theAtlantic, Jessica Bennett hosted a coming out party for (heterosexual) polyamory in Newsweek late last month.
While sex educator Tristan Taormino’s book Opening Up and journalist Jenny Block’s Open were mentioned in the Newsweek article, conservative journalist Andrew Sullivan was the only queer person quoted. Sullivan, an Atlantic columnist, drew a line about homosexuality being innate and polyamory being a choice, as if that’s at all relevant in matters of the heart—or cunt. Apparently marriage equality activists want to distance themselves from the “political football” called polyamory. It throws off their balance on the slippery slope argument of those homophobic right wingers and other haters who believe introducing same sex marriage into American society will lead to oh so many other evils, like people being allowed to marry their pet monkeys and such.
Polyamory, or non-monogamy as lesbian-feminists of yesteryear referred to the practice of having more than one amorous partner, is in vogue. In fact, poly (in modern lingo) relationships have always been an important part of the LGBT community, even while the issue is so very often swept under the carpet.
The Alternatives to Marriage Project website’s “Ways to be unmarried” section states the following about polyamory:
Polyamory means different things to different people…but it generally involves honest, responsible non-monogamous relationships. This could take the form of an "open" relationship, or a group or three or more adults who are “monogamous” within their group (sometimes called polyfidelity), or a limitless set of other situations…Many people who are exploring polyamory also have an interest in alternatives to marriage. Some poly people choose not to marry because they feel marriage comes with an assumption of monogamy. Others can't marry, either because it's not legal to marry more than one partner at the same time, or because their partner is the same sex they are….
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According to Serena Anderlini-D'Onofrio, Professor of Humanities at the University of Puerto Rico, Mayaguez and author of Gaia and the New Politics of Love and Eros: A Journey of Multiple Loves, polyamory can philosophically improve the ecological health of our planet.
Anderlini-D'Onofrio is a self-described postmodern nomad whose interests include human and global ecology, erotic expression and emotional sustainability. She works with the scientific and spiritual principles of Gaia (the mythological Greek goddess personifying Earth), her sacred erotic energy, its circulation in amorous communities and sharing amorous resources to create global health and abundance. Anderlini-D'Onofrio posits, “If we think in Gaian terms, we realize we need a new politics of love that is more symbiotic so that we can safely share amorous resources.”
Mentioning SheWired’s own Mona Elayfi’s Singled Out in SF column, The Leading Lesbian about the lack of spaces where women can connect amorously in San Francisco, Anderlini-D'Onofrio notes the “near disappearance of the lesbian scene even in such a beacon of gay life as San Francisco….Mona describes a general difficulty in connecting among women who identify as lesbian, especially in relation to her forays in the gay men’s scene in the Castro district….”
There are, says Anderlini-D'Onofrio “poly milieus, conferences, events, retreats, and communities in general that are conducive of women’s connecting with other women, amorously, affectionally, and sexually. With a 51 percent of all poly roughly identifying as bi, the community is quite hospitable to women who love other women, whether they identify as lesbians, bisexual, bi-friendly, or bi-curious. In general, poly communities are accepting of people independently of their gender/sex orientation, and they are hospitable to sex-positive, self-affirming women because they encourage disclosure and transparency in relationships as well as equality among genders.”
Supporting her work about the Greek goddess in relation to modern day personal and relationship calamities, eco-system ruptures around the world and how polyamory can help, Anderlini-D'Onofrio says, “An active knowledge of Gaia theory empowers today’s humans to resolve the ecological crisis we’re in: The more a participant contributes to his/her amorous and erotic communities in the ways of health, love, and vitality, the more each community will radiate these forces back….”
Ergo, polyamory saves the planet!
For more information about open relationships, check out Taormino’s informational website, resource guide and tour schedule. Jenny Block can be found on her site. Visit the Alternatives to Marriage project site for more information. Learn more about Serena Anderlini-D'Onofrio and the concept of Gaia here.{C}
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