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Have you considered dating a vampire? Here are 10 reasons you should:
1. You will always be the tan one.
And yes, he will be jealousy when all the boys admire your golden glow at this year's Pride Parade.
2. He’s probably a night owl.
So you and he can party into the wee hours of dawn. Besides, gay clubs only start to get good at midnight.
3. His hickeys are unlike any other.
You’ve never had a hickey until you’ve got one from a vampire… those fangs... Sorry puppy play, you got nothing on vamp play.
4. His alluring, natural beauty.
He’s beautiful, charming, and mysterious. The trifecta. Just like the sexiest vampire currently on TV, Matt Bomer.
5. He’s ageless.
Not only is he ageless, he’s immortal. He’ll stay young and beautiful forever—just for you, baby.
6. He won’t spend all day gawking at himself in the mirror.
It would be pointless without a reflection, which means he has more time to spend looking at you.
7. He can fly (maybe).
It may be in the form of a bat… but hey, can YOU fly? That’s what I thought.
8. He can heal.
You don’t have to care of him when he’s sick… because he cures himself... and he does it quickly.
9. He's incredibly strong and fast.
The general consensus is that vampires seem to have some superhuman strength, speed, and reflexes. Having a guy with superhuman abilities could be a big plus in the sack. #powerbottom #thundertop
10. He’ll never pick off your plate.
You know how much you love it when your boyfriend picks off your plate while you're still eating? Yeah, I don't either. Luckily, he won't be doing that anytime soon, unless you’re eating some very rare steak. Then, I suppose, he might be interested.
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.
Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.