Shutterstock
10 Mythical Creatures That Are Definitely Queer
If there’s one thing I love, it’s discussing the sexualities of mythical creatures. It’s a combination of my love for fan fic, all things witchy, and all things queer. (And fine, monster porn.) Life is so much more fun when you believe in magic.
While the magical world represents all orientations, in the forest of fairies, the woods of witches, and the oceans of mermaids, we celebrate queer sex!
1. Fairies
As we all know, for too long, the straight community used the term “fairy” in a derogatory fashion. Fuck that. In real-life, fairies are not offended that their world was used in conjunction with queerness, but they are offended that anyone would say so in a homophobic fashion. Fairies enjoy living in flowers and tree branches and anywhere with some nice shade. They are indeed very small and they sweat glitter. Gay marriage has always been legal, and weddings are an elaborate multi-day celebration in which all the creatures of the forest such as deer and bunnies attend.
2. Wood Nymphs
Shutterstock
Wood Nymphs would more than likely fall under a pansexual category. They’re often associated with female spirits that connect with natural elements and are close to the forest and the trees. They encapsulate beauty in all of its forms and exude love, although they heavily guard their respective trees.
3. Leprechauns
Shutterstock
Leprechauns are small and mischievous little men who guard pots of gold, but the most telling sign of their sexuality (which is often left out) is where they guard their treasure — at the end of the rainbow.
4. Harpies
Shutterstock
Harpies can have a little bit of a bad rep, considering they’re usually associated with being aggressive and mean. A lot of their personality traits are similar to people who are closeted and forced to pretend to be something they’re not.
5. Witches
Witches come in all genders, but it is true that the witch community has been especially encouraging of lesbians. Witches throughout history have been risking prosecution to say, “Yeah, it’s totally cool that you aren’t into sex with dudes. Vagina is powerful and beautiful AF.” They’ve also long known the benefit of lube (potions and ointments) and dildos (broomsticks). As the occult world is evolving, the witch community is making an effort to become more gender-inclusive in their literature and coven meetings.
6. Mermaids
You know how dolphins love fin sex and blowhole sex? Well, they learned their acceptance of queer love from their fellow sea-creatures, mermaids. In the accurate account of The Little Mermaid, Ariel never wanted that human prince. And she was very content with her fabulous tail. Ursula is a power lesbian sea witch, and Ariel’s mentor, not her nemesis. They sip tea and check out chicks together and giggle about how annoying cishet humans are.
7. Unicorns
Duh, unicorns are queer. They are the most fabulous (in their opinion) of the mythical creatures although they can be a little bitchy. They have the best parties and they know it. They love orgies and are so much better than humans at ethical non-monogamy. Think of the gayest Sagittarius, but with the wisdom of centuries (unicorns live into their 900s) and the added cockiness of having a magical horn.
8. Vampires
Vampires were once humans. They live forever and they look fabulous. Contrary to popular depiction, you get to choose if you want to become a vampire or not. Vampires practice enthusiastic consent. Many queer people choose to become vampires because they recognize a good deal when they see one. You no longer have to pay for Botox but inherit flawless skin and (usually) a ton of money.
9. Angels
Angels are indeed holy creatures, but not in the way Christian homophobes would have you believe. Angels wear beautiful long dresses and have elegant wings and can fly. They live the queer life themselves and are protectors of love. All queer people have a guardian angel.
10. Goddesses
Goddesses can have whatever they want. They are worshiped. They are motherly figures, but they’ll also chop the head off anyone who tries to say bisexuality isn’t a valid orientation. They love to dance and make love and know that you fall in love with someone for the person, not their genitals. Goddesses come in all genders and are champions of non-binary folks, and are fine with the word “god” or “goddess.” Bigots do not want to piss them off or they will inflict a fury upon their entire family.
