There are times when everyone, no matter their size, comes face-to-face with a body they may or may not be fully comfortable with. A certain level of anxiety is fine and understandable, but for some, being conscious about your body can be an all-consuming, crippling thing. Here are 15 tips to help you avoid those feelings of self-consciousness so you an live the hot gay summer you deserve!
1. Stay off the dating apps
Dating apps are pretty toxic as it is, but if you’re trying to feel good about your body, stay away! Men ask you for body pictures and judge you based on that, so if you’re not feeling totally comfortable in the skin you’re in, this may be more detrimental than helpful.
2. Listen to meditative music with affirmations
There’s something truthful to be said about frequencies and how they change our moods, so put on some meditative music, preferably one that has someone saying positive affirmations throughout. You can check out YouTube and type in basically anything you want and let it help you from there.
3. Avoid social media wormholes.
Social media is double-edged sword. While some of the time it’s a source of motivation and inspiration, most of the time it’s a vicious game of self-criticizing comparisons. Always appreciate, never associate.
4. Don’t put hot people on a pedestal.
This goes hand-in-hand with #3. Those Insta-famous hotties are hot—but in the end they’re working, struggling, self-conscious humans just like you are. Realize that everyone is in this together, on the same playing field, striving towards a personal goal.
5. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Your body is one-of-a-kind with trials, tribulations, strengths, and weaknesses all your own. Your goals shouldn’t be based on someone else’s body.
6. Psych yourself up before working out.
I know, kind of sounds shallow, but hear me out. The gym is plastered in wall-to-wall mirrors and often times, when I show up looking a damn mess, my self esteem is so low that motivating myself is impossible. Give yourself a leg-up on gym day by feeling good about yourself when you step foot in one.
7. Avoid obsessing with the mirror (I know we all do it).
Standing in the mirror and getting acquainted with your body is a positive thing, but when you start to pick it apart is where we all go wrong.
8. Spend more time naked.
The more comfortable you are with your naked body, the more comfortable you’ll become with your bathing suit body. (And btw, EVERY body is a bathing suit body.)
9. Wear clothes that you feel good in, not clothes that the fashion world tells you to wear.
You should always feel your best just being you.
10. Know that confidence can be learned.
Whether it’s through positive reinforcement, through a therapist, through an encouraging significant other, or through your own continuing journey, confidence can be learned. Sometimes it’s hard to do and sometimes it’s so foreign that you don’t want to let it in, but it’s always worth a try!
11. Realize that you’d never judge others this harshly, so why are you judging yourself?
Try to look at yourself from the outside in. It’s never as dire as you think it is, and no one cares as much as you think they care, so stop judging yourself harsher than everything else in your life.
12. Use compliments as motivation, rather than critiques.
Many people are able to translate negative comments into positive motivation. Personally, I’m the opposite. I find that I can pull more motivation from compliments. When you’re at the gym, remember the time Karen said you looked good. Positive compliments equals positive association, which then equals positive output.
13. Realize that even the hottest of human beings see flaws in their bodies.
You’re not alone.
14. The journey never ends, so be prepared for that.
When you do hit your fitness goal, there’s always going to be another one. They just keep moving the line. However, work on loving your body for the shape it’s in now and use goals as continued positive reinforcement.
15. Stay positive, stay patient.
Patience in your confidence growth, patience in truly loving your body, and patience in achieving your overall goals. Be more patient than you think you need to be. It will pay off.