As the 1989 era of Taylor Swift draws near, let us reflect on the beautifully broken relationships and the beautifully buff bods of Taylor Swift’s exes.

13) Brandon

You may not know Brandon, but he’s kind of the reason Taylor Swift is who she is. He inspired her first single ‘Tim McGraw’  —  he also inspired my first wet dream.

12) Drew (Tyler Hilton)

Tyler Hilton AKA the guy who plays Drew in the ‘Teardrops on my Guitar’ music video AKA the big spoon.

11) Adam Young

Today, I learned Owl City was one guy – Adam, who is the inspiration behind Taylor’s hit ‘Enchanted’. Today, I also learned I’m into scruff.

10) Connor Kennedy

BECAUSE WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO DATE A KENNEDY!?

9) John Mayer

If this were a definitive ranking of douche baggery, John Mayer would top the list. But, because it isn't, and because he feels the need to high five the enemy (Kanye) … and date the enemy (Katy Perry), he lands at a sad, sad, #9.

8) Eddie Redmayne

Here is the point in the article where my pants begin to jut upwards. Eddie Redmayne and EddieRedmayne’s tongue ladies and gentlemen.

7) Stephen

Stephen inspired the appropriately titled track ‘Hey Stephen’ off of Taylor’s Grammy-award-winning album Fearless. No one knows what Stephen looks like, so here’s a gif of Zac Efron (who is also rumored to have dated Taylor).

6) Chord Overstreet

BRB, in hysterics. Chord lands at #6 simply for his six pack … and his biceps, and lips, his slicked-back hair, perfect chest, his voice. Ok, I’m done.

5) Lucas Till

Lucas is the fictional love interest in the ‘You Belong with Me’ music video turned real life Taylor Swift boyfriend. ‘You Belong with Me’ is the song I sing to every straight guy I fall in love with … including him.

4) Joe Jonas

We all know about Joe, the guy who broke with Taylor on the phone — and yet I’m still jealous she has his number.

3) Taylor Lautner

Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner lived every gay’s nightmare — having the same first name. Luckily wedding bells did not ring, and two Taylor Lautners are not walking around. Wait, that actually sounds like heaven.

2) Harry Styles

Harry Styles doesn’t sweat — he glistens, and for that reason we deem him our #1 One Direction member and our #2 Taylor Swift ex.

1) Jake Gyllenhaal

Finally, the Romeo to her Juliet and the love story we never wished had come to an end. Jk, jk,jk, yes we did, cause we’re selfish thirsty bitches.