Trans
6 Things That Happen to Trans People in the Service Industry
6 Things That Happen to Trans People in the Service Industry
As if it weren't already hard enough.
Basil_Soper
January 07 2016 8:00 AM EST
December 09 2022 9:12 AM EST
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6 Things That Happen to Trans People in the Service Industry
As if it weren't already hard enough.
Working with the public can be a dehumanizing experience. Often, you don't get breaks, time to eat, or treated with dignity by customers or management. When you add being transgender into the mix, working in the service industry only gets harder. Here are six things I experienced working in the service industry.
1. Are You a Boy or a Girl?
When I transitioned, I worked in a very busy chocolate/coffee shop that catered to wealthy southerners. Every day, someone asked me about my gender (as if it were any of there business). Even when a coworker used my preferred pronoun, some customers disregarded it, and occasionally, they would ignore me or call me "it."
2. You Won't Want to Leave Home
When you leave work after being misgendered all day, all you want to do is climb in bed and close the blinds. Until I started "passing", I barricaded myself in pillows and blankets and tried to forget about work. There's no shame in being a bed barricader.
3. BEHIND YOU!
Most service industry workers are very familiar with the infamous "behind you" holler. While transitioning, my voice cracked like a pubescent boy, and every time I shouted "behind you" a squeaky crack echoed through the restaurant. Awk. Ward.
4. You'll Internalize Everything
Transgender people need money to transition (and live), but they're less likely to find stable jobs than cisgender people. Job security in the service industry can be scarce, especially for trans people, and there's no legislation supporting the hiring and firing of trans folks. To survive and make a living, I constantly had to convince myself that my job wasn't that bad. When people called me "ma'am", I assumed they called me, "man." It was a self-deprecating environment; I convinced myself I deserved to be misgendered, and that I needed the job.
5. Your Coworkers Need a Trans 101 Class
When it comes to transgender people and their bodies, coworkers can be unapologetically curious. In my experience, the service industry is less professional than other work environments. Coworkers commented on my changing body, asked about your genitalia, and outed me to guests. It happened all the time, and when I offered to teach a Trans 101 class, my managers declined and claimed I was trying to "feel special."
6. Anger Management
When working in the service industry as a trans person, self care is critical. I resented my coworkers and customers, and battled with intense anger. As you transition, you might feel irritable and moody; try not to let those feelings consume your life. I suggest exercising daily, eating healthy meals, and getting sleep; your coworkers, customers, and body will thank you.
Basil Soper is a transgender writer, activist, and Southerner who wears his heart on his sleeve. He's an astrology enthusiast and tears up when he watches unexpected-animal-friend videos on the internet. Basil's life goals are to write a memoir and be the best uncle ever to his niece, Penelope. Learn more about Basil at ncqueer.com.
Basil Soper is a transgender writer, activist, and Southerner who wears his heart on his sleeve. He's an astrology enthusiast and tears up when he watches unexpected-animal-friend videos on the internet. Basil's life goals are to write a memoir and be the best uncle ever to his niece, Penelope. Learn more about Basil at ncqueer.com.