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7 Things to Expect When You Come Out as Bisexual

While the situation is slowly getting better, bisexuality is sadly still widely stigmatized and misunderstood. Here are some things you might encounter when you first unfurl your multi-gender-lovin' flag…

1. Relief... and then...

Finally. I've admitted it to myself! It wasn't just indigestion - I dig more than one gender! So I'm SMOOCHING that Robert Pattison/Taylor Swift/Ruby Rose poster like there's no tomorrow and… Oh. Now what?

 


2. Explaining to a partner

 

If you're in a relationship, it can be tempting to just stay in the closet. But that way lies madness. Your partner may find it daunting to accept that you're attracted to a gender/genders other than theirs, but if they're really going to love you for who you are, they'll want to know exactly who that is, right? If you're finding it a sticky topic maybe point out to them that you don't constantly ask them if they miss dating blondes just because you're a brunette and they've dated blondes in the past. What matters is that it's YOU they're with now - and that works both ways.

 

 

3. Explaining to friends and family

 

“We can still talk about guys, though, right?”

“But darling, we've already told your grandparents and both your aunties that you're gay! What will we say to them now? Are you sure?”

Yup. Some responses will be less than helpful. People like other people to be in convenient boxes. If they've gotten to know you in one box and then you “change” boxes it's bad enough. Admitting you fit in more than one box can easily short-circuit their brains.

 

4. Dumb reactions from the LGBT community

"Bisexual girls always cheat on you with guys."

Often, sadly, members of the LGBT community pretty much reject that 'B' (and the 'T,' but that's another story). Indeed, they can be even more prejudiced than the straight community when it comes to dealing with bisexuals. There's a sense that we're traitors; that we want to be part of the gay community at the same time as exploiting our so-called “straight privilege”.

 

5. Dumb reactions from the straight community


“I didn't realize you were a lesbian.”

“You're only doing it for attention.”

“Doubles your chances on a Saturday night, eh - HA HA!”

And my favourite…

“I've never met anyone bisexual before.”

Well, you probably have, but they didn't tell you about it precisely because they're tired of reactions like these.

 

6. Discovering the bi community

 

 

“OMG, you TOO?!”

If you haven't really socialized with other out bi people before, meeting your first fellow bis (online or in person) is a wonderful feeling. There are some excellent bi websites, groups and events out there - although sadly still not nearly enough of them. We need you to help us organise and expand!

 

7. A free toaster!

 

 

OK, maybe not.

 

 

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Tags: #Women, #Stub

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