The newest season ofOrange is the New Black is packed with intense drama, crushing heartbreak, and murderous betrayal. Oh, and there are also quite a lot of fantastically intimate moments between some of our favorite characters. So while we're happy to toast OITNB's intellectual brilliance, why not take a moment to acknowledge the more carnal pleasures of both season 1 and 2? Here are our Top 10 favorite OITNB sex scenes, and be warned, there are minor spoilers ahead, and it's NSFW. Enjoy!
10. Introducing Piper and Alex: Any apprehension we may have had about Orange Is the New Black was immediately washed away when we got our first glimpse of Alex and Piper getting cozy in the shower. Sure, there was a lot going on in the pilot (the whole 'getting arrested' thing was a major plot point), but when interspersed with several Piper/Alex hook-ups, we just knew we would never be able to tear ourselves away. We don't regret a moment of it and can't wait for the ultimate Piper/Alex season 3 reunion in our future. We know season 2 was just released but...can it please be next year already?
(Season 1, Episode 1, the whole damn episode)
9. Nichols and...Some Girl: Don't you hate it when your nightly teeth-brushing is interrupted be loud shower sex? Nichols may have tried her best to quiet her conquest, but from what we've seen, Nichols' sexual prowess just can't be tamed. Whoever this girl may be, she was clearly a lucky one.
(Season 2, Episode 3, 34:30)
8. All I Want for Christmas is Nichols and Vause: The finale of season 1 brought a lot of surprises, but nothing more pleasant than the impromptu hook up of Nichols and Alex. Alex and Piper have hit a rough patch, Nichols has hooked up with most of Litchfield; it's the perfect combo! And so, hidden beneath the Christmas gift poster Nichols was making for Morello, the two get a handsy. We don't see much, but the imagination will do just fine on this one. The couple didn't last, but the hey, who knows what the future may bring?
(Season 1, Episode 13, 44:00)
7. Sophia's Anatomy Lesson: Okay, so it's not technically a sex scene, but it's incredibly informative! After Taystee proves she really has no idea what's going on with her anatomy, Sophia, who says she's helped design her own anatomy, sits the girls down for a science lesson - diagram included - that sheds some light on a woman's, shall we say, darkest place. Hey, it's not every day we get an in depth vag-ucation from one of our favorite characters on of our favorite shows! We'll Top Ten to that!
(Season 2, Episode 4, 55:00)
(Season 1, Episode 1, 47:30)
5. Piper and Alex's Post-SHU Reconciliaton: It was the moment we were all waiting for, and it didn't disappoint. After a rocky relationship (to say the least), a recently-released-from-SHU Piper finally overcomes her Alex issues and steals her away for a hook up in the apparent go-to place for Litchfield sexual counters: the chapel. It's not a long moment (thanks a lot, end credits!), but Piper storming down the hall, grabbing Alex, and getting it on in the sensual glow of the stained glass is about as sensually passionate as OITNB gets.
(Season 1, Episode 9, 56:40)
(Season 2, Episode 4, 50:45)
3. Pre-Prison Alex and Piper: With absolutely no opportunity for Alex and Piper to get together this season (here's looking at you, season 3) we were at the mercy of flashbacks to reunite Litchfield's Cutest Couple. Luck was on our side, and what more could we ask for than this scene where Alex goes down on Piper, then when Piper considers the same, the two discuss how this would be Piper's first experience with that particular activity. Alas, just as Piper is about to "take the plunge," Alex's crazy semi-girlfriend storms in and starts beating Piper up. Not our ideal end to this scene, but hey, it was pretty entertaining in its own way.
(Season 2, Episode 10, 01:25)
2. Nichols and Morello in Church: It's not hard to believe the church may not be the holiest place in prison, but damn does Nichols get around in the sanctuary! Of course, this is also the scene where Morello put their relationship to bed (sadly not in a literal way) because she wanted to stay true to her "fiance" Christopher. But hey, now that we all know the sad truth about that debacle, could there maybe be a Nichols/Morello reunion in our future...?
(Season 1, Episode 5, 03:50)
1. Poussey and her German Girlfriend, Flashback Edition: It was the scene that finally proved scissoring isn't the lesbian go-to, but more than that, this moment gave us a real personal (in several ways) look into Poussey's life that we hadn't had before. We saw a tender, loving, expressive side of this passionate character in an entirely new light, framed by a surprisingly honest sex scene that really crushed our souls when we remembered this show isn't exactly about characters whose lives turned out splendidly. We've loved getting to know Poussey better this season, but never more than during these scene!
(Season 2, Episode 6, 18:40)
