CONTACTCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2024 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
Don’t miss our hottest news! Sign up today for our free newsletter.
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
Before reaching the coming-out point, we tell ourselves a lot of lies.
We try to justify things. We try to explain it away. We try to do whatever it takes to make ourselves fit into that perfect heteronormative mold society wants us to fit into.
As a closeted bisexual teen, I told myself plenty of lies. I didn't understand who I was or what my attractions meant.
For a long time, I genuinely thought I was straight. I referred to myself as an ally, and I meant it. But there were a lot of inaccuracies floating around in my pubescent brain. There were misconceptions, misunderstandings, misinformation, and just a whole lot of B.S.
Since coming out at 18, I look back and I find it funny. Oh, sweet baby McKenna. She had no clue.
Now, I want to make it known that it's okay if you told yourself a few half-truths when you were in the closet. We all did. We all do.
Here's my list. Here are the things I felt and thought. Here's a taste of the crap I told myself to help it all make a bit more sense in my mind.*
*The bolded parts are the lies. The italicized parts are the truth.
1. It's probably just a girl crush.
It's not.
2. I mean, girl crushes exist, right? I don't want to do anything with her, I just want to be like her.
That's not what's happening here.
3. Because, you know, I'm straight.
Oh, sweetie. No you're not.
4. Everyone has sexy feelings for Eva Longoria. That is just fact. It doesn't matter what gender you are. At the end of the day, we would all make out with Eva Longoria. It doesn't mean I like women. I couldn't possibly.
Yes, you could possibly like women. And, yes, Eva Longoria is amazing and hilarious and brilliant and we should all love her, but that doesn't mean we're all attracted to her.
5. What would I even be anyway? I definitely like men, so that leaves me with what? Bisexuality? That's not even a real thing.
Yes, it is.
6. So I'm definitely straight then. Super straight. I'm swimming in a straight stream, people.
Nope.
7. Okay, so maybe the stream has a few curves to it, but whose doesn't? Everyone's a little gay for someone.
Are they, though? That's probably not for you to say.
8. I'm totally not bi though. Bisexuality is a myth. I don't even understand how anyone could ever actually be bi.
Yes, you do.
9. Like, what, you're just not going to pick a side your whole life? Please. Everybody picks a side.
No, they don't. And the term "pick a side" invalidates bisexuality, pansexuality, etc. and sets up an incorrect gender binary. Not cool on so many levels.
10. It totally doesn't feel really freeing to be able to sing Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" in public.
It really does, though. Say what you will about that song, but at age 15 it was liberating as hell.
11. Maybe I'm not bisexual though because I can't really picture being with a girl.
The crush you have on that girl in math class would say otherwise.
12. Even if I was attracted to women, it wouldn't really matter until I dated someone of my own gender.
It matters because it's a part of your identity regardless of who you're dating.
13. I could probably just not tell anyone as long as I was only dating people of other genders.
You could. You'll feel better if you don't.
14. I could live happily not caring that people don't know about my sexuality.
No, you can't. Maybe some people can, but you can't.
15. People are going to assume I'm straight, which is fine because I am.
You're not, and it's not fine to assume anything about someone's identity.
16. Okay, well... I'm kind of straight... Maybe not totally, but mostly...
Not at all, actually. You're 100% bisexual. Not 50/50 staight and gay -- 100% bisexual.
17. I still can't identify as bi though. Nobody would understand that. I'll just sound slutty or like I need attention.
Only ignorant people will think that. You'll set the record straight (pun intended).
18. I'd probably be the only bi person I know, anyway. There aren't whole lot of bi people in the world. We're pretty rare.
We're not rare at all. We're everywhere.
19. Fine, I'm bi. But I still don't need to come out. It doesn't really matter right now.
You don't need to, no. But you'll feel so much better when you do.
20. I don't know. Maybe I'm not bi. I don't want to come out and then have to tell everyone something different later.
You're bi. You know it. Even if you realized you were something other than bi down the road, you're allowed to alter labels about your own identity. Nobody knows your identity but you.
21. I don't know how to be bisexual.
Yes, you do. You're already doing it. Be attracted to people of your gender and people of other genders. Congrats. You're a gold star bisexual.
Want more breaking equality news & trending entertainment stories?
Check out our NEW 24/7 streaming service: the Advocate Channel!
Download the Advocate Channel App for your mobile phone and your favorite streaming device!
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
25 All-Time Greatest Lesbian Sex Scenes in Movies & Where To Stream Them
December 12 2023 11:36 AM
87 LGBTQ+ Movies We Can’t Wait To See In 2023
December 07 2023 4:19 PM
28 same-sex couples who don't mind the age gap
January 16 2024 2:15 PM
25 Reasons Being A Bottom Is Tougher Than Being A Top
December 12 2023 3:15 PM
These 44 Stars Came Out In 2023
December 26 2023 10:16 AM
30 TV Shows With Bisexual Guy Characters & Where To Watch Them
December 19 2023 10:38 AM
30 steamy gay scenes in movies that have us feeling VERY h-word
January 26 2024 12:12 PM
All 20 Sex Scenes on 'Bridgerton', Ranked
December 12 2023 12:32 PM
30 Best 'Trades Of The Season' In The 'RuPaul's Drag Race' Franchise
December 21 2023 5:11 PM
Don’t miss our hottest news! Sign up today for our free newsletter.
Latest Stories
Gay gymnast Sam Phillips stuns at NCAA championship, advocates for inclusion
April 22 2024 5:21 PM
'Are you sisters?' How this assumption makes lesbian visibility a minefield
April 22 2024 4:52 PM
Billie Eilish to headline Fortnite Festival Season 3 & teases the new skin
April 22 2024 2:01 PM
Here are all the celebrities who came out in 2024 (so far!)
April 22 2024 1:20 PM
Grindr faces legal backlash for sharing HIV status without consent
April 22 2024 12:25 PM
Trending Stories
Recommended Stories for You
Most Recent
Mckenna Ferguson
McKenna is a freelance writer, Netflix addict, and Colorado State University alumna. Her hobbies include sleeping, staying indoors, and crop top advocacy. #CropTopsForAll
McKenna is a freelance writer, Netflix addict, and Colorado State University alumna. Her hobbies include sleeping, staying indoors, and crop top advocacy. #CropTopsForAll
Megan Thee Stallion sued for harassment, ex employee allegedly forced to watch her have sex