Ever Gone Through a Lesbian Breakup? - A Poem

"the art of losing isn't hard to master"

i read that once

but it's not true

oh, but i mean, i've mastered plenty of things

but not once have i mastered how to get over you.

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i've mastered denial and

distraction

(escape and affliction)

self-deception—

                                                —depression

                                    and substance abuse

i've mastered motion and stasis

and countless embraces

                                    all in the name of forgetting (in vain)

            (because forgetting is a form of remembering too)

i've moved onward and upward and forward and skyward

            (but all along backwards and sideways as well)

i've tried to move mountains but caused avalanches

                        too often preferring (deserving?) this hell

you push and you pull me, confuse me and fool me

you run my heart ragged

                                    until i can't stand

(i know in your mind you make sense all the time)

but fighting with you is like walking through landmines

and i can never distinguish the mine from the land.

i know you don't want me, i don't harbor delusions

but i think what i want is the knowledge you'll stay

            we put in so much time

                                    (could you try to be kind?)

i can't imagine you'd want to just throw it away.

it's clear that a romance is not in our future,

            i'm fine with that, babe

                                    i mean it, i do

            but as much as i've learned       (can we be friends?)

 and as much as i've mastered             (please?) (i miss you)

i've still never mastered how to get over you