Can Bed a Friend Without Ending the Friendship?
Stand-up comic and observer of lesbian life, Gloria Bigelow, ponders the ins and outs of friends having sex with friends. 'Real friends are hard to find, while hook-ups seem a dime a dozen. At any given lezzie bar in America you can find two women hooking up in a bathroom stall.'
I had sex! She shouted.
"Mex?" I yelled over the sound of the treadmill. "Where on earth did you find good Mexican food in New York?" I questioned. "Every time I sit down in a Mexican place in the city I am always disappointed. The other day, I bit into a quesadilla and when I opened it up I found asparagus and goat cheese! Asparagus and goat cheese, girl."
"Sex, you fool. Not Mex. Karen and I had sex."
"I would have rather you'd said Mex. With Karen? WHY???? Maybe all of this working out is going to your head. What is wrong with ya'll? I'm confused-- what exactly do you mean you had S-E-X?"
"You know what I mean. Sometimes Gloria, when a girl and a girl get together they sometimes fall into...
"Each others Vaginas? Is that what you are saying, you fell into her Vagina!"
"Kind of. We went to the farmers' market and I was making brunch and after we just kind-of had sex."
"What in the hell did you buy at that market? You're not even dating. She's our friend. We ride bikes together. We work out together. She shops with us. Where in the hell did this come from?"
"It just kind of happened."
"I need a drink!" I stopped at the water fountain on our way down to the locker room. I was full of questions: Is this a one-time thing? How is this going to affect your friendship? Was it any good? What did you do afterwards- play WII? How am I going to look her in the eye now, how are you going to look her in the eye when she's actually seen your vagina? There were to many questions, so I just went with?
" So, what's next?"
"Nothing, it was just something that happened."
How can two buddies, end up in bed- or on the couch in that case, in such a casual way. How is it that you can F*&$ a friend without F*&$ing up a friendship?
My friend assured me that there was nothing to it, and that things like this happen all of the time, but does it? Is the opportunity to sleep with a friend just a fresh fruit or vegetable away? Can two people who, prior to a Saturday trip to the farmers market, who had absolutely no interest in each other, end up in bed without the fallout being a total catastrophe?
We were on our way out of the gym and my friend turned to me," Do you want to call Karen and invite her for sushi?"
"Yes, just as much as I'd like a root canal." I replied.
"Are you going to be all weird, now?"
"Possibly, because I think it's weird."
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"It will only be weird if you make it weird."
"It will only not be weird if you both have a partial lobotomy."
Real friends are hard to find, while hook-ups seem a dime a dozen. At any given lezzie bar in America you can find two women hooking up in a bathroom stall. But people who allow you to be yourself, people who reflect yourself back to you, people who will let your borrow their fancy dress -- are a little hard to come by. Is a little roll in the hay worth risking an additional wardrobe?
My friend dialed her number. "It will be fine. You need to relax and not take it so seriously."
I nodded, " Okay, it's all fun and games, until somebody loses an eye."
But is it?
Catch up with more of Gloria Bigelow here.