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We all have our reasons for hitting the saunas, and we’re not here to judge. Whether it’s pre- or post-workout, sometimes it feels good to just have a relaxing sweat session.
That is, of course, until there’s that one guy who does something that makes the whole experience uncomfortable. Here are 30 awkward things guys do in saunas.
1. Doing Squats
There you are relaxing in 125 degrees of pure blistering bliss, when a gym rat swings the door open, finds a space and starts doing squats.
2. Adjusting their junk
Everyone’s sticky, uncomfortable and sitting two feet away from you. If you’re feeling unbearably restricted, you should rearrange the boys, but you don’t need spectators.
3. Talking at all
Silence is golden. So please STFU.
4. Flirting
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As if talking isn’t bad enough, they want to try to make a pass while they’re at it?
5. Listening to music without headphones
Rihanna and Drake’s “Work” slays, but if I want to listen to it, I’ll put on my headphones, which is what you should do too.
6. Singing out loud
What part of silence is golden do you not get?
7. Planking
Great, your abs are on point, and your feet are basically in my lap. Plus, I can almost see in your back door.
8. Dancing or moving around at all
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Seriously, just sit still. We’re not interested in seeing your dance moves until we’re at the club, and even then the sauna isn’t the place to practice them, honey.
9. Stripping
By the time you enter the sauna, you will already be in your towel. Stepping in and stripping down is uncomfortable for everyone — even if you’re really hot.
10. Applying oils
Lubing up your aching muscles affects more than just the wooden benches. And if you’re a real looker, there could be a lot more wood in the sauna after you oil up.
11. Making eye contact
Don’t look at me! Look at your feet or the inside of your eyelids.
12. Clipping their toenails
Seriously?
13. Picking at navel lint
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Like clipping your toenails, the sauna isn’t the place to clean out your belly button. Save that for the showers.
14. Sitting too close
Saunas are notoriously cramped, but do we really have to touch? There should be a gap between your thigh and mine.
15. Manspreading
Yes, the warm air makes all sorts of things loosen up, but you’re taking up too much room. Tough. Buck up and tuck your family jewels.
16. Flexing their muscles
There’s not even a mirror in here. WTF are you doing?
17. Talking on the phone
Excuse me … can you call your Grindr buddies back later?
18. Sharing personal stories
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Just like talking, or flirting, or singing, or any other kind of vocal interaction, don’t start sharing personal stories if you can’t take the hint. Unless someone else is engaging in the conversation with you, just sit still and relax.
19. Drying their stinky clothes
Whatever stankiness was going on in your clothes is now wafting into the shared sauna air. Thanks for that.
20. Lying down naked
Are you trying to expose your ass to the heat or to every Tom, Dick and Harry?
21. Scratching anything
Have an itch on your chest? That’s cool — scratch away. But, your itchy taint needs to be addressed in private. Now, put your legs down.
22. Spitting on the rocks
We're literally breathing in the steam from your spit.
23. Examining body parts
Congratulations! There's a mole on your coin purse. You should examine it at home.
24. Bending over
Are you trying to touch your toes or do you want me to look at your puckered starfish? Anyways, just stop.
25. Shaking sweat off
I have enough of my own sweat, I don’t need more from you.
27. Breathing heavily
If you’re that winded, maybe you should take a break from the heat wave? Just a thought.
28. Launching snot rockets
Gross. Go away.
29. Farting
It already smells in here. Did you really have to add the fumes from your lunch into the mix?
30. Rocking a boner
If we get up at the same time, that thing will poke my eye out.
Temptation Sundays in Las Vegas.MGM Resorts International
