No Strings Attached doesn't mean no effort at all!
Shutterstock
The majority of queer men, myself very much included, use Grindr or some other hookup app. Obviously, it’s nothing to hide or be ashamed about. However, since we all use it, there are some things that should become commonplace, including what every Grindr host should have in his humble abode. So here are 15 things every guy hosting a casual hookup should have.
Privacy
Shutterstock
Look, there's a time and a place for group activities, but the hookup host should have a place where you. can get down in private. Even if there's a roommate around, you should still be able to close a door and do your business.
Mutual interest
Shutterstock
Pictures can be deceiving. Sometimes, you show up, and one of the two isn't interested in what's about to take place. Don't let that be you, especially if you're the host. There's no need to waste anyone's time, just cut the cord as soon as you know.
Lube
Let’s start with the obvious: lube. You should absolutely have loads of lube at your place if you’re inviting someone over for casual sex. This should be a given, yet I couldn’t tell you the number of times I’ve gotten to a guy’s place and he didn’t have lube. I’m always in shock.
Sense of humor
You’re meeting a stranger at their house for casual sex. This can either be a hella awkward experience or a mutually beneficial one. Don’t take anything too seriously. You should be able to laugh during your Grindr hookup. You should be able to make jokes and smile.
Condoms
Yes, even if you take Truvada, you should still have condoms because your partner might still want to use condoms even if both you and he are on PrEP. Remember, Truvada doesn't help prevent other STIs like gonorrhea and syphilis.
An ability to make small talk
Small talk is a part of the whole random guy experience. You should be able to make small talk well. It’s really not that hard. Here are some classic questions that never fail. Where are you from? What do you do? How long have you lived here? There’s no reason to talk much beforehand, but after you guys have sex, it’s nice to have a few things to discuss while you’re putting on your underwear.
Time
Yes, of course, you can be doing a quickie, but even if it’s a quickie, give the guy more than six minutes. Give him a half an hour, just in case it takes a while for things to heat up or takes the guy a little bit longer to finish.
Poppers
Even if you don’t use them, you should have them to offer your guest. Especially if you’re a top and you’re inviting over a bottom -- even more so if you’re a well-endowed top.
Towel
Sex gets messy. There are a lot of liquids, including but not limited to lube and semen. Definitely, have a towel in case you boys make a little mess.
The ability to express yourself vocally
By this, I mean that you should be able to be somewhat loud. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you are in a soundproof room in the middle of the woods with no one around. But I hate when I go over to a guy’s house, and he didn’t tell me that his housemates were home. He then has to sneak me in, and I have to be very quiet. Having housemates home is fine, but like, I want to be able to have casual sex with a little bit of volume. Is that seriously asking too much?
Realistic expectations
IT IS GRINDR, PEOPLE. Don’t go expecting that you’re going to meet the love of your life. Don’t expect that you’re going to have the best sex of your life. Don't expect that this is the beginning of long-term, no-strings-attached affair. Don't assume literally anything.
PrEP
Okay, I don't mean you should have Truvada to share. You shouldn't be offering it to your new sex partner. (Could you imagine walking into a guy’s place and he casually offers you some PrEP?) I mean that if you are hosting often, and are having casual sex with strangers, you should be taking Truvada. It’s necessary to take your safety and the safety of your partners seriously.
The ability to ask for what you want
If you’re the host and are inviting someone over, you should be able to negotiate what it is that you want in order to make the sexual experience as pleasurable as possible. (Ideally, you should be doing this before he comes over.) If you like having rougher sex, then you say that. If you like using toys, say it. I always compare sex in these situations to scratching an itch. You would tell whoever was scratching you where the itch was, right? You wouldn’t just have him scratch you everywhere or try to guess where you're itchy. Grindr sex is the same way. Don’t have him guess what it is you want. Be direct and vocal about what your interests are.
A cool refreshing beverage for afterward
Isn’t that nice? When after you both get hot and sweaty, he has a nice drink to offer you instead of some tepid tap water. I’m not saying you have to be a spa, but would it kill you to have some Gatorade available?
The ability to make eye contact
I know, sex with strangers is awkward. I’ve made that abundantly clear. But come on, if you’re putting the penis of a stranger in your mouth, you should be able to make eye contact — unless that is something you struggle with generally or due to neurodivergence. The point here is to treat your hookup like a person and with respect.
Adult stars Tony Genius, Jordan Starr, and Dom King.Mile High Entertainment / Carlos Salazar / Men.com
