Coming out is hard. I have an twin sister (also gay) who, annoyingly, beat me to it and came out at 16. Which made me feel like I couldn’t for a while because … ya know … that was sort of “her thing” now.
WhenI finally did come out (seriously, just do it. It feels wonderful.) I thought I had it sorted. Little did I know, I was clueless. And here are five things I got wrong about being gay.
I thought ...
1. My Friends Will Abandon Me
Big issue. I thought coming out would creep out my straight friends and they’d take some time to get used to it. But I hadn’t given them enough credit! They thought it was fucking fabulous! How incredibly fashionable and niche. I became everyone’s new GBF and have had to fight for time to myself ever since as they follow me to gay bars and join in for Pride parades. Seriously – your friends may not react the way you'd expect.
2. Being a Gay Girl Is Like Being in The L Word
I was expecting a big, loving group of supportive and successful women to spring from the ground and start telling me all the juicy gossip. Did that happen? No. It turns out, no one seems to hate women more than gay girls, which doesn’t make sense, right? Gay women are far more likely to form small cliques and throw shade at each other. That shit needs to stop though. Come on.
3. Now I'm out, All Lesbians Will Fancy Me
Coming out of the closet is the hard part, surely? After spending years watching from the side-lines I thought I would throw myself head first in to a pool full of talent. Nu-uh. Gay women are just as hard work to seduce and confusing as anyone else. Prepare yourself.
4. People Will Treat Me Differently
No one cared about me being gay. I’d prepared myself for a huge challenge and long, emotional chats but seriously – No one cares that much. They have their own shit to deal with. (Unless they’re assholes)
5. I’ll Have to Change Everything
Day one of coming out does not require you to run to the mall and stock up on plaid shirts and beanies. I spent a few months trying to wear dungarees and considered getting a neck tattoo to “fit in”, but it just isn’t me. You don’t have to change who you are because of your sexuality. You are who you are, and your sexuality is just a part of that. So no, you don’t have to cut your hair or get a cat.
Coming out is different for everyone but psyching yourself out is detrimental. It’s really not that dramatic. So get your chin up, shrug off those doubts and fears and just do it. OK, you may encounter the odd issue or homophobe, but living your true life is worth so much more than them. Start today.
About the Author: E J Rosetta is an LGBT Columnist and coffee addict living in Hampshire with her spoiled cat, Hendricks. More ramblings can be found on Facebook or via Twitter @EJRosetta
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