How To Keep Your Girlfriend's Roommates From Hating You

It’s inevitable that one day you’ll be dating a girl that has roommates, and that means it’s inevitable that one day you’ll be “the girlfriend.” Don’t be “the girlfriend” that those roommates “want to kill.”

If you have any respect for other human beings and/or hope to make friends as an adult person, take these tips as basic life practices. Take these suggestions as easy ways to not be a complete douche bag.

1. Don’t drink their alcohol unless they are there, and they offer it to you.

It’s super rude to assume all the beer in the fridge is free to take. If you want to drink at her place, be a lady and bring your own.

2. Don’t use any of their bathroom shit.

It’s likely you’ll end up in the bathroom with your girlfriend (amiright?) so figure out which products are hers, and only use those. Don’t be swayed by yummy scents or whitening toothpaste. It’s not yours!

3. Don’t eat their food.

This should be a no brainer. Eat your own damn food, ya fool.

4. Try to not comment on the household items, as some of them might be theirs (and you and your mouth might offend someone).

This can be slightly hard for loud mouths, but it’s probably best you don’t ask “who the hell” bought a certain painting, since you probably know it wasn’t your gf and whoever is in earshot could be adding reasons to their “I hate the girlfriend” list.

5. Stay out of the kitchen when they’re trying to cook.

Americans are busy folk, and when you live in a house with roommates, the most crowded room is usually the kitchen. If her roommates are cooking, give them some space, so they have no reason to justify feeling like you’re abusing the boundaries.

6. If you’re there a lot, replenish toilet paper and other paper goods.

Little gestures go a long way with roommates.

7. If they have DVR, don’t you dare record anything.

Roommates HATE when their roommates S/Os make them feel like they’re being imposed on. Don’t treat their shit like it’s yours, and they won’t get mad at you for it.

8. Make a point to always leave spaces you occupy tidy after you leave them.

It’s common courtesy to stay tidy when you have a lot of people living in one space, so if you’re an additional body in that space, make sure to be respectful and otherwise invisible.

9. Don’t take their parking spot.

If there is limited parking or assigned parking, don’t be the dick that clogs up their spots. Use your legs and walk from the guest parking.

10. Offer to pitch in if you see everyone cleaning up.

If you’re there when they decide to clean, don’t be a dick and go in your girl’s room. Do the right thing.