7 Deodorants Old Spice Should Create for Gay Pits

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It’s safe to say the marketing team at Old Spice has completely lost their minds. Their deodorant names are ridiculous. Bearglove? Swagger? Lionpride? They think they can get away with anything just because the Old Spice guy is the most perfect male specimen to walk the face of the earth.

So what if Old Spice marketed to LGBTs? What would they call their deodorants?

1. Bearpride 
For hairier men who need a little more umph from their deodorant.

2. Fierce 
For men who know how to get shit done.

3. Playtime 
For men who want that secret scent behind closed doors. 

4. Unicornsparkle 
For men who don’t sweat, but ~sparkle~.

5. Sploosh 
For men who want to smell their best for that late night Grindr encounter.

6. Queen of the Night 
For men who prefer a more dainty scent.

7. Scruff 
For men who like to smell like a man.