6 Ways to Be More Inclusive of LGBT Elders

Photo: Jose Murillo

Due to a lifetime of experiencing the trauma and financial stressors associated with being marginalized, many LGBT elders are disproportionately impacted by poverty, physical pain, and mental health issues. Older LGBT adults are also more susceptible to neglect and bigotry in adult care facilities, and still often face various forms of discrimination due to not just age, but gender identity, sexual orientation, and race.

Here are some ways to be more mindful of older LGBT folks, and to not exclude them! 

1. Don't shame people for aging

Have you ever heard the saying "a gay man's life is over when he turns 30?" Well, that might be cute or whatever (I guess), but it's also very detrimental. Youth, vigor, and physical attractiveness are disproportionately valued in the gay community, leaving many to experience a sense of “accelerated aging.”

Ageism and homophobia are jointly internalized by gay men and these feelings affect their mental health, and as a person ages it changes their sense of belonging and place in the world. You don't have to date older people, but you don't have to make them feel irrelevant either. 

2. Give queer elders space to speak and have a voice

The LGBT community claims to be really diverse and open, but sometimes in the fight for acceptance, we don't always accept one another because of all kinds of differences — age is one of them. As well as political affiliations and education levels.

Regardless of what stage someone is at in their evolution of understanding LGBT politics and identities, they deserve to have a voice and they shouldn't be dismissed for possibly being uneducated. Don't assume all older LGBT folks are uneducated.

3. Hang out with them

Spend some time with older folks! Most of them have really great stories to share and great gems of wisdom to pass on. 

4. When organizing things, think of ways to incorporate them

Make room for older LGBT folks in whatever project you are planning, and try to make sure they know they are invited to parties, rallies, and support groups. 

5. Advocate for them

Our community's elders are living life in some awful conditions. They spent their early years advocating so we could be who we are today, so it's high time we return the favor. 

6. Memorialize LGBT elders

It wasn't that long ago that things like The Lavender Scare happened. Gay clubs used to be raided daily. Our trans leaders were murdered at more rapid rates than today, and they were scarcer in existence. HIV/AIDS threatened to wipe out our entire history.

If you know an LGBT elder, find a way to memorialize — and thank — them!