The 8 Best Things About Being Vers

Let's get to the bottom (or top) of this issue, once and for all!

Being versatile (or vers, for short) is the best. I’m sorry if you disagree, but these are the facts. I’m simply reporting them, and there’s nothing I can do to change them. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice when a total top and a total bottom happen to meet, but this is real life, not a fairytale. Meeting the bottom that is the lock to your top key (so to speak) doesn’t happen that often. This is why being vers is fabulous. This, and these 8 other reasons!

1. You can literally have sex with every queer guy

Arguably the biggest perk of being vers is that you don’t have to worry about if it’s a "match" when you meet a guy. He can be a top, top/vers, bottom, bottom/vers, or just plain old vers and you’ll be a happy camper.

2. It doesn’t matter if you can’t get hard

It happens to the best of us. We get nervous, for whatever the reason, and we can’t maintain or sustain our erections. No worries. If that’s the case, you just turn on over and let your partner top. Done and done.

3. You’re a better top when you bottom

Some tops get a little too excited. I get it. Having a nice butt in front of you—one that you’re about to penetrate—is very exciting. But instead of easing their way in, they start with power drilling. That’s a no-go. Or after they finish, they assume sex is over and the bottom doesn’t have to ejaculate. That’s also a no-go. You become a more considerate, attentive top, when you’re a pro at bottoming.

4. You’re a better bottom when you top

Alright, so this works both ways. You realize that it’s not always good to just lie there and bottom. As a bottom, you should still be moving. Tops aren’t into necrophilia. They want to feel like they’re having sex with another living human being, so start thrusting, ya know?

5. You can flip

OMG. Flipping during sex is amazing. For those of you who don’t know, that means when you bottom and top in one session of love making. It’s what dreams are made of. Of course you can only do this with someone else who is also vers, but when this happens, boy-oh-boy, you are in for one hell of a night.

6. You don’t have to guess if he’s a top or bottom

I remember standing with a friend of mine, who only bottoms. We were at a gay bar, and he looks over at this cute guy, and then proceeds to have this entire monologue to himself, seemingly unaware that I’m there. "Oooh, that guy is cute, but he has a nice ass so I bet he’s a bottom too. Whatever, I should still talk to him. Urgh, but I don’t want to put in the effort. I’m gonna like him. I can just tell. Then he’s going to be a bottom, too. I hate this." That’s when I learned my friend was a crazy person, but also, it made me realize how stressful it is guessing if that guys is also a top or bottom.

7. It shows you're flexible

Pun gleefully intended. But I feel like being vers speaks volumes to who you are as a person. It reveals that you are a flexible person, who’s open minded to various experiences, sexual and otherwise.

8. You get what’s going on

Here’s what I mean when I say this. There’s this idea in certain cultures, and among certain groups of men, that tops aren’t gay. If you’re the top ("activo," or the one receiving blowjobs from guys) as opposed to being the bottom ("pasivo," or the one giving blowjobs), you’re not gay, you’re just being a "manly man." I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news. If you’re getting your D sucked daily by different dudes, you’re probbbabbbbllllyyyy not straight. I feel like many TOTAL tops are still obsessed with masculinity and have some weird internalized homophobia or sex negativity they need to deal with. (Obviously this isn’t all of total tops, but this has been my experience with many of the total tops I’ve met.)

Vers men aren’t like that. They just get it: you can act as top, you can act as bottom, you can act however the hell you want cause...why not??