Bears are a fairly common and well-documented subset of the gay male community, but add “lesbian” to the front of that term, and many people would start scratching their heads.
There are so many types of lesbians out there, and we’ve been busy defining all of them for you. From futches, chapstick lesbians, and Hey Mamas to studs, stems, and femmes, we’ve covered them all, except for “lesbian bears.”
So we reached out to an LGBTQ+ sex and relationship expert and the folks at the Actual Lesbian subreddit to answer all of our burning questions about the elusive lesbian bears.
What is a lesbian bear?
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Lesbian bears tend to be butch and dress in more masculine clothing are usually larger bodied, are often taller than your average sapphic, and tend to be down to earth. They’re also hairier and tend to eschew shaving their legs or armpits.
Physical appearance is a crucial part of the identity but there are certain personality traits — like being cuddly, giving great hugs, and having a safe aura — that are also common among people who call themselves lesbian bears.
“A lesbian bear is not only about someone's looks, but a combination of appearance, vibe and body-type,” Sofie Roos, a bisexual licensed sexologist, relationship therapist, and author at relationship magazine Passionerad, tell PRIDE. “Basically think of a sapphic that impersonates a bear, from soul to looks, and you’ll have it!”
Lesbian bears may not be talked about as much as butches, but the term isn’t new. Lesbian bears were even detailed in a 2002 article from Xtra Magazine, which pointed out that lesbian bears are also called Ursulas, which is “a feminization of the word ursine meaning ‘of or pertaining to a bear, resembling a bear.’”
How common is it for someone to identify this way?
“In contrast to the gay male world, bears within the lesbian community are much rarer,” Roos says, despite lesbian bears talking openly on Reddit and TikTok.
“I consider myself a butch bear and part of it is that I love bears (the animal) and part of that is because I’m fat, hairy, bearish, and also hang out in circles that are overwhelmingly gay,” Reddit user diceanddreams wrote when PRIDE asked the r/actuallesbians subreddit about lesbian bears.
How does this identity differ from butch or masc lesbians?
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“Butches and masc lesbians are more about embracing the traditional ‘masculine' in your style, such as by having short hair, masculine clothing and a special lingo and vibe that’s a bit ‘manlier,’” Roos explains. “While a sapphic bear can be a butch, it adds a social and physical dimension - the bigger body, and the calm but still strong and safe appearance.”
The sapphics on Reddit agreed, with A-Gnome-of-Ones-own writing, “Idk my girlfriend calls me her bear because I’m a little stocky and stronger than her. I don’t know that it’s a ‘thing’ but I kinda love it tbh. I’m not very hairy though…”
How does it differ from the (typically gay male) bear identity?
The two terms are very similar and mostly divided along sexual identity lines. Are you a large and snuggly sapphic with hairy legs, who also loves to wear flannel? Then you might be a lesbian bear.
And while gay bears are part of a huge subculture, that kind of community “doesn’t exist for lesbian bears,” Roos says, who explains that they are too rare which “leads to less lesbians actually feeling the power to embrace their bear-ness fully” because they don’t have a "big community backing you up.”
How does this identity intersect with trans identity?
Top_Squash4454 on Reddit is trans and a identifies as a lesbian bear because the two aren’t mutually exclusive, “I am one. I’m trans femme and I’m pretty hairy, not planning on getting laser except for my face.”
According to Roos, trans women are accepted in the lesbian bear community because the identity is mostly about “body type and overall vibe.”
“It’s important to remember that a lesbian bear can be any queer woman — it’s not connected to your sexual orientation or gender, but to your vibe and how you’re seeing yourself,” she explains. “So if the bear identity feels natural for you and you’d like to embrace it, then that’s what you are - no matter what kind of sapphic you are!”
