8 Outrageous Things Gay Men Say to Trans Men

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Basil Soper

As a bisexual trans man who passes, I deal with a lot of "surprise" reactions from all sorts of people when I reveal my status. When it comes to sexual and romantic interactions — from dance parties to apps — a majority of the time I have to do a little trans 101. Cisgender gay men seem to lack an understanding of trans etiquette and manners.

Of course, I've dated a few lovely cis gay men, but 8 out of 10 times, our conversations lack dignity on their end. Here are eight outrageous things gay cis men say to trans men. 

Red flag! This tells you everything you need to know about this guys' understanding of trans people. He's obviously not taken any initiative to learn more about being transgender.

*Takes Deep Breath*

Are you intentionally misgendering me to hurt me, or has the gender binary severely affected your sight, brain and manners?

Really?! A boy like me? Well, interestingly enough I'm not a flavor of ice cream. I am a man with feelings, and more than a fetish for your entertainment.

Cisnormative standards of beauty are boring, ya'll. 

My dick is not a figment of my imagination. Last I checked, it worked fine. Sometimes it's not very big and other times I have to strap it on, but it's definitely real.

Oh, let me guess... you're really curious about my genitalia. Surprise, surprise.

Transgender is not a category of music or a physical activity. It's fine to have preferences but you just spoke to me as if I was an inanimate object. By the way, trans men or all trans people are not all the same. Ya know, we're people. 

Yeah. By what you just said, I can tell I am new territory to you. Don't take this the wrong way but we're not coming into physical contact ... at all. Like, ever. 

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