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For better or for worse, it happens to us all. It’s embarrassing. It’s frustrating. It’s the most vicious self-fulfilling prophecy in the history of mankind. You can’t get it up. You get nervous about not being able to get it up. Then you really can’t get it up. To top it all off, your partner then says something insensitive, so now you really REALLY can’t get it up. Here are some of the worst responses you can hear from your partner.

1. It’s because you drank too much.  
Drinking doesn’t help the situation, but reminding me of how much I drank isn’t going to fix anything.

2. You’ve got to be kidding me. Yep, you're right. That was my joke penis. Let me whip out my erect one and we'll be good to go. 

3. Really? 
Yes, really. 

4. Are you gay/straight? 
My inability to pitch a tent with you does not erase my sexual orientation. I am still me. I’m still attracted to you. Nothing’s changed.
 

5. I’m gonna head out. 
That’s it? It's all or nothing? There's nothing else we could do? There are some things I could do to you...

6. What’s wrong with you? 
My penis is sleepy! I thought that was pretty clear.

7. Well this sucks. 
Yeah, it really does. Thanks for pointing it out.

8. What the hell is going on? 
Do I really need to explain it? Seems pretty self-explanatory.

9. Is it me? 
Yes. Of course it is, but not for the reasons you think. I’m attracted to you. I like you. I want you to enjoy this more than anything. I want you to enjoy this too much, and the pressure I’ve put on myself is deflating me (and my penis).

10. *Sticking fingers up butt* 
I like your determination and out of the box thinking to help me pop a boner, but maybe let’s slow down just a tad.

11. Want me to blow you? 
This is very hit or miss. Sometimes it helps. Sometime it doesn’t. Sometimes it helps just for a second or two before *insert deflating sound here*. One thing's for sure. There’s nothing more awkward than blowing a flaccid dick that just won’t stiffen up.

So what can you do when your partner can’t get it up? 
Don’t get upset. Don’t be insecure. Be flattered. He’s just nervous, probably because he likes you or finds you attractive. Ask him if there is anything you can do to help. Tell him you understand and are not at all upset. And let him know it means you’ll just have to see him again.