5 Things Sexually Fluid Really Means

The terms “sexual fluidity” or “sexually fluid” are becoming more and more commonplace — as they should be. People are realizing, hey, sexuality might not be as binary as we once thought it was. It’s about freakin’ time! BUT, the more I hear people saying sexually fluid, the more I noticed people use the phrase in a limiting context.

So here's a list of what sexual fluidity actually includes.

1. Sexuality isn't fixed

At a very base level, sexual fluidity is the idea that sexuality isn’t fixed. In other words, sexual attraction, behavior, and identities can change throughout the course of time. A sexually fluid person may be attracted to or sexually involved with folks of different gender identites, including non-binary or genderqueer people, to varying degrees at different points in their life. A sexually fluid person may claim different sexual orientations (lesbian, bisexual, straight, gay, queer, etc) at different points in their life.

2. Not a 50/50 split

Sexually fluidity should not be confused with a 50/50 split in attraction toward men and women. 

3. Sexual attraction (physical desire for sex) and romantic attraction (desire to be intimate without sex) are distinct entities

For example: you can be sexually attracted to men, women, and nonbinary individuals, but romantically attracted to only women. Similarly, you can be romantically attracted to men, women, and nonbinary individuals without being sexually attracted to any of them, which is true for many people who identify as asexual. 

4. To reiterate, sexuality can change over time

Sexuality is fluid over time. Today, you may find yourself attracted to one gender identity more than another, but that might not be the case in a year, five years, or ten years down the line.

5. Your sexual fluidity doesn't need justification

We sometimes have this urge to prove ourselves, especially when faced with skeptical glances and questions. Don’t feel pressured to prove your fluid sexuality to anyone. If they don’t believe you, that's their concern.