8 Tips to Help You Find a Sugar Daddy

guy on a yacht
Zachary Zane

It’s the ultimate dream of many a gay millennial: finding a sexy older gentleman who spends his time, affection, and of course his hard earned cash monies on you. Alas, as anyone can tell you, finding a sugar daddy is easier said than done. But there are some things you can (and should do) if you’re searching for that daddy. Here are 8 helpful tips.

1. Set your Tinder/Dating/Hookup profiles to men over 40

This is some practical advice here. If you’re looking for an older gentleman with some dough, you need you to actively search for an older gentleman with some dough. The easiest way to do that is to change your dating profile settings for men over the age of 40.  

2. Join a sugar daddy/boy site

I mean, how serious are you about this? A sugar daddy isn’t going to fall into your lap. You need to put yourself out there. God knows there are plenty of sites for this purpose alone. Even gay-specific ones like Gay Arrangements.

3. Become a beast in the sheets

The worse thing that could happen is that you meet and find the sugar daddy of your dreams, only to ruin it because you’re not cutting it in bed. One of your jobs, as a sugar boy, is to be a 10 in the sack. So make sure you’re practicing and keeping up to date with all the new kinky things that are so totally in.

4. Go to the rich part of town and hop on Grindr

Sorry honey, you’re not going to find a daddy in Bushwick. You need to take the train over to Manhattan and hop on Grindr THERE.

5. Sleep with every guy cause you never know who’s gonna be loaded

Right? You never know who’s a secret daddy, or as I like to call them, "a daddy in the rough." Not be confused with a daddy who is rough, which is particularly nice in the boudoir. 

6. Ask for his tax returns

You need the hard facts. The proof. Don’t fall for a con man like the rest of America. Ask to see those damn tax returns. You also want to make sure he’s an ethical sugar daddy. One who doesn't use loopholes to screw over the American people.  

7. Get drunk and ask every older gentleman at the bar if they’ll be your sugar daddy

What could go wrong with this? Surely, you won’t offend anyone by simply asking every older looking man if they’re loaded. If they say, “No,” just leave mid conversation.

8. Be persistent

It’s gonna take some time and work. You can't expect to find a sugar daddy overnight. Don’t fret. Don’t give up. Simply keep at it. Before you know it, you’ll be naked in a jacuzzi being served caviar by hairless twinks. And let’s be honest for a second, isn’t that what we all secretly want?   

 

Tags: #Dating, #Gay, #Comedy

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